Ep #102: What Are You Committed To?

By: Dr. Sherry Price

Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | What Are You Committed To?

What are you committed to?

This can be a very humbling question and you’ll want to say things like “I’m committed to my health” or “I’m committed to drinking less” or “I’m committed to being a great mom.”

Is that true?

The quickest way you can answer what you’re committed to is by looking around at the results you have in your life.

If you go to work every day, you are committed to your job.

If you go to the gym regularly, you’re committed to working out.

If you are drinking less than last month or hardly drink, then you are committed to drinking less.

As we roll into September, now is a great time to really evaluate at what you are committed to and where you want to increase your commitment level.

Join me in this week’s episode so you can increase your commitment level and be a woman who can take it or leave it.

 

If you want to apply this concept to breaking a bad habit in your life, join us inside EpicYOU. This month, we are getting clear on how to break bad habits for good. You receive my help every step of the way. Click here to end your “over-ing” habit today.

 

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

  • How to know what you are really committed to.
  • What habits are you reinforcing – intentionally or unintentionally.
  • How to increase your level of commitment.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle Podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 102.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well, hello my beautiful friends. I hope you all had a wonderful long weekend this past weekend. My family and I, we celebrated up in Colorado with friends. We did some hiking. We did some hot tubbing. We did a lot of outdoor activities, a lot of good food. It was such a great time. And it’s just nice to get away and be with friends. And I’ll tell you one thing I didn’t do. I didn’t drink. Yes, everybody else around me did but I didn’t, I just didn’t feel like it and I just didn’t want to. I was enjoying the scenery, enjoying the connection time with everybody there.

And so, what I want to talk about today on this podcast is I want you to think about what are you committed to. This is such a great question and such a powerful question. And I’ll tell you, the quickest way you can answer this is by looking at the results in your life. If you just look around at your life, that is what you are committed to. If you have a job and you go to work, and you go to work every day or most days, or part-time, or full-time, you are committed to having a job.

So, if you look at how you spend your time, what you fill your life with, that will tell you all the things that you are committed to. So now when you look at your drinking, what are you committed to there? Because you know what you’re most committed to? By what you have in your life. What you’re committed to is a reflection of everything in your life. So, if you are someone who can take it or leave it with your drinking, you can moderate your drinking, then that’s what you do. It’s what you are committed to.

And so, what you are committed to you wind up doing. And the more times you do it, it’s who you are and who you become. So, when you are drinking less initially it may not feel easy. It may be really hard because it’s not who you are yet, you are working on becoming that person. But if you’re doing the work that means you’re committed to it. So, some people say, “I want to be committed but it’s so hard.” And I want to say that the level of difficulty is not a factor here. It’s not a factor if you are committed or not.

So, let’s take this into a different context. Some may find it easy to be committed to going to the gym. Going to the gym for them, going working out is easy for them, they want to go, they look forward to it. They look forward to the routine, and the exercise, and the adrenalin rush. They just find it easy.

Then you have people like me where it is hard. There is a level of difficulty for me to be committed to going to the gym. I still go. I’m there just like the other person lifting weights, doing cardio, sweating, making the most of it and I’m making it happen. But I will tell you, it’s not something I wake up in the morning and say, “Yay, I get to work out today.” So, person A who finds it easy versus me, person B who finds it hard, it doesn’t matter the level of difficulty. We are both committed to going to the gym, or getting in exercise, or getting in movement.

So, the level of difficulty has nothing to do with if you’re committed to it or not. It could be the same for a job. Some people love going to work. They love the work that they do. And then some people, it’s quite opposite. They don’t really enjoy the work that they do, they find it numbing, or brain numbing, or they’re just not into it, or their boss is a jerk. All these things can contribute to it being hard but they’re still committed to going to work. So, I don’t want you to confuse the level of difficulty with this simple question, are you committed or are you not.

I once heard a quote that hit me and it stated that commitment is a statement of what is. So, if you look around in your life and you see what is, that is what you’re most committed to. If you say you’re committed to it but it’s not representative in your life, that’s just your dream. That’s just your wish. That’s not stating what you are committed to. So, if you are drinking every night you are committed to drinking every night. If you’re drinking whenever you’re social and every weekend then that’s stating what you are committed to. That is your reality.

Commitment is a statement of what is. You can’t say, “I’m committed to being a woman who can take it or leave it”, but yet you go and drink at summertime, and at pool parties, and at barbecues, and because it was Labor Day weekend, and because there’s a wedding, and because it’s just my habit. That’s not saying you are committed to becoming a woman who can take it and leave it. You’re saying, “I’m committed to my drinking habit.”

Now, many of you will not say, “I’m committed to drinking and therefore that’s why I’m drinking every night or I’m drinking on weekends.” But you will say things like, “It’s the summer. This is a pool party or another backyard barbecue, or this is what we do at the beach, or this is just my habit, my habit brain is in control again.” These are all ways that you are expressing what you are committed to. And these are all indications that you’ve given away your power to all of these things.

You’ve given away your power to the pool parties, to the barbecues, to the Labor Day weekend, or the holiday. And you’ve given your power away to the habit because all of this is just a statement of what is. It tells you what you are committed to. So, if you’re saying, “I’m committed to drinking while I’m at a pool party, while I’m doing a holiday, while it’s a barbecue,” it also means you can’t be committed to the opposite. And the more times you tell yourself, “This is just the habit”, guess what you’re doing? You are reinforcing the habit.

And that’s something that we are working on inside of EpicYOU this month, breaking bad habits. Because the more times we say, “It’s just the habit, it’s just the habit”, we’re feeding the habit that we don’t want to be feeding. So oftentimes when people talk this way, I remind them this is not a good way to be talking because your brain is listening and we’re reprogramming your brain for doing more of this habit. I don’t think we want to be programming your brain deeper to do this habit more.

And I don’t think many of us realize that’s what we are doing. If we knew what we were doing and we were programming this deeper into our conscious and our subconscious, of course we wouldn’t be taking that action. And as I mentioned on the last podcast, breaking bad habits is a different technique than building a new habit and it’s harder. And nobody tells us how to break bad habits, they just tell us how to build a new one.

But I do want to tell you that breaking bad habits, people do all the time. I know many of us feel like this is such a difficult thing to do. You know what a difficult thing to do is? To put a rocket into outer space, that’s difficult. Lots of people, lots of technology, lots of testing, all this time, now that is difficult. When we’re talking about breaking a bad habit, it’s not that difficult. When you compare it to all the difficult things humans have done it’s really not that hard.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park either but let’s be realistic. And the more times you tell yourself, this is going to be so hard, this is going to be so hard, you’re creating more suffering and more pain and you are creating this reality that it’s going to be harder. So yes, it requires work to break a bad habit but you know what else requires work? Keeping the habit. A lot of work goes into maintaining a habit. So, I want to come back to what I started with. It’s not the level of difficulty that determines if you are committed or not.

And here’s what I also want to remind you, it’s not the level of difficulty you should be measuring. That should not even be on your radar. It should be, I don’t care if this is easy, moderately easy, a little bit hard, moderately hard or really hard, it doesn’t matter. This is a goal I want. And by you thinking about the level of difficulty, you’re just stacking the odds against yourself. You are just building up more of that resistance. And I see this with women who say all the time, “It’s just a habit. I just keep doing it because it’s just a habit.”

They’re stacking the odds against themselves. So, if that’s what you don’t want to do, what do I want you to do is focus on your level of commitment. Are you committed or are you not? What is your level of commitment? Because I want you to think about something. When you get to 75, 80, 85, do you want to look back on your life and talk about all the days and nights that you spent committed to your drinking? Will that light you up inside? Will that bring you immense joy, talking about all the nights you were buzzed, you were drinking, you thought about drinking and that’s how you spent your time?

Or do you want to talk about something else, maybe something better? Maybe how you were committed to being the best version of yourself, maybe how you were committed to caring about your health, caring about being in the best shape of your life, or being the healthiest you can be. Or maybe it’s about creating meaningful memories and conversations that you actually remember with people. Maybe it’s showing up as the best mom, a great employee.

Because I know many of us have bigger and better goals than sitting around drinking, and worrying about our drinking, and thinking about our drinking. We could be expending that energy on so many other things. So many other things that bring us more joy, and actually fulfilment in life, satisfaction in life, meaning and purpose in life.

And maybe your level of commitment is to say, “Hey, I want to reduce this stress and anxiety because I know when I drink, I know alcohol raises cortisol levels. And I know that I can feel it the next day, I have more stress, I have more anxiety and I’m actually more restless.” That’s the aftereffects of alcohol. That’s the alcohol still in your system causing those post-drinking effects. We all know dopamine levels plummet the next day. We know cortisol levels go up the next day, hence it’s the perfect milieu to be depressed and anxious, feel blue, feel sad.

And what do we want to do? We want to run to the alcohol to cure all that. And we also know that alcohol destroys the gut lining. So, we can’t absorb the nutrients, we can’t absorb the vitamins and this may be subclinical or become clinical over time. So, we know that these are the effects of alcohol. We know that alcohol also reduces the grey matter and the white matter in the brain.

And I was just listening to a fascinating podcast where they talk about the effects of alcohol on your brain and on your body. It’s highly scientific, but it’s so good. And it’s also very sobering when you listen to this podcast. It’s Andrew Huberman’s latest podcast, he has a podcast called The Huberman Lab Podcast, it’s so good. He’s a neurologist and other things out of Stanford University, look him up. The podcast is amazing. I posted this podcast inside of our Slack channel for all the members inside EpicYOU to go listen to because it is so good.

I know a lot of the effects of alcohol but I learned a lot of new things listening to this two hour podcast. We even had a very frank, open, candid discussion about how people once they listened to this podcast, how it shifted the way they think about alcohol. I know many of the women had questions for me about how it may have shifted my thinking or why I choose the path I choose with alcohol. And I really welcomed that honest, radical honesty, really embracing the latest in science and what we know about alcohol and how we want to apply that to our lives.

I can tell you, I was very moved by that podcast. I had heard things said in a different way that really opened my brain up to thinking about alcohol in a different way. So please go check out that podcast. Again, I’ll put the link in the show notes. And I guarantee you’ll learn something new that you didn’t know about alcohol.

So, coming back to commitment and focusing on what is your level of commitment around the relationship you have with drinking. Now, I want to talk about two definitions I found in Webster Online about the definition of commitment. One definition is the obligation that restricts freedom of action. And I know some people think of commitment in this fashion. Somehow that committing to something is limiting. It reduces our freedom.

Some people may look at marriage this way. It’s too committal, it’s too restrictive, that means I have to settle down for just one person for the rest of my life. And how will I know that this person is going to make me happy forever? But I don’t think about commitment that way. Even when it comes to marriage you’re not committed for life if you don’t want to be. There is an out, there is divorce if it’s not going to work between the two parties.

What I think about commitment is rather the second definition, it’s the state or the quality of being dedicated to something, whether it’s a cause, or an activity, or who you want to be in the world. Now, I don’t think that’s restrictive at all. And actually, I don’t think marriage is restrictive, not for me, I’m very happy, very thankful with the guy I chose many years ago and I would choose him all over again in a heartbeat. And I love being committed to my husband. I love being Michael’s wife. I am proud to be his wife.

And I’m also proud and committed to being a woman who can take it or leave it. It serves me and my life well. Now, I’m committed to many other things in my life and many of them I chose on purpose. I’m a committed Christian. Some people are a committed Catholic, a committed Jew, Muslim, Latter Day Saints, whatever their belief systems are. Some committed atheists, some people are activists they’re so committed. Some people are really committed to their jobs. Some people are committed to their health and their fitness.

Some peopled are committed to women’s rights but you get to choose what you’re committed to. They could be small commitments, they could be big commitments, they could be something that you’re committed to for a little bit of time and then you switch your commitment because it’s no longer serving you in your life.

I know something small but is actually really big that I’m committed to in my life and I made that commitment about three years ago. I decided to get very committed about my sleep. And I can tell you, that has made a huge difference in how I function day-to-day, what I could get done, how I treat myself, how I treat others, how I show up in the world. And I talk about this all the time on the videos inside EpicYOU, on our live calls inside EpicYOU.

I am talking about when I get my seven to eight hours of sleep and I’m committed to that, I show up as my best self. I operate as my highest self. It is the one thing I stay most committed to. And so, when you’re committed to something it shows what you believe in. It shows what your beliefs are. I love being committed to my sleep. And people know this about me. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s nothing to hide. I’m proud to be committed to my sleep because it shows I value my health, I value how I show up in this world, I value how I take care of my needs and others, absolutely.

And here’s another thing about your commitments. When you say what you’re committed to, you’re stating basically what your standards are. You’re like, “Hey, this is how I operate, this is what I believe in and this is how I’m going to act accordingly.” And when I’m committed to something, I’m going to focus on that commitment, what does that mean? It means I’m willing to invest in it. I’m willing to invest my time, my energy, my money and resources into making sure that this stays a priority for me in my life.

So, I invested in technology that I wear that measures my sleep because I want to know. I want to know deep sleep. I want to know my light sleep. I want to know how much I spent in REM sleep because I’m committed to this. I’m invested in it. And when you’re committed you want to invest in learning things that keep you on track. You want to hang out with others that are doing the same work that you’re doing, that have the same interests that you have.

That’s one of the main reasons I started EpicYOU, I wanted women who were on this journey to getting their best life by drinking less and improving other things in their life, to come together to support one another. If you’re a committed bicyclist, you might want to join a cyclist club or a team so you get to ride together, you learn from each other, what happens when you’re tire blows out? What are the extras I should be carrying on me? How do you fuel yourself for long rides? How do you change the gears for these hills?

You’re constantly learning from others to level up your skills because you’re committed to it. And you want to hang around with other people that you can quickly learn from. And this is exactly what we do inside of EpicYOU, the members are reporting out what’s working, what’s not working, what’s keeping them on track, where it led them off track. So, they can learn and others can learn from their journey as well because we’re all investing time, energy and resources into something. Make sure you’re investing it into something you want to be committed to.

Looking back when I was an over-drinker, I looked at all the ways I was committed to staying an over-drinker, and I didn’t even realize it. I mentioned that my most witching hours were between 5:00 and 7:00pm. That’s when my drinking would ensue or when it would start. But that’s not the moment I began investing in my drinking.

I began investing in my drinking around two or three o’clock in the afternoon, when the thoughts started to triculate into my head and say, “Are you going to drink today? You said when you woke up today you weren’t going to drink but now I think you want to drink. There’s none in the house because you cleared it out, so if you do want a drink that means you’re going to have to go to the store.” And you all know my story.

I went store, to store, to store because I didn’t want the cashiers to know that this is the lady who always gets her chardonnay, because I was embarrassed by my habits. And so, I’m thinking back to all this time that I invested in staying an over-drinker, thinking about it at two, three o’clock in the afternoon, going to get the bottle, starting to drink at five. Even though my drinking was only three hours each night, what I invested into that was way bigger from a time and a financial component.

And then the next day beating myself up or thinking, gosh, I didn’t stick to my plan, why is that? What’s going on? And so that’s what I was committed to. I was spending five, six hours at least doing drinking and let me put ‘doing drinking’ in quotes. Even though I wasn’t actually physically drinking, my mind was consumed by the thoughts of drinking. And my mind the next morning was consumed by the thoughts of why did you over-drink again?

So, all that time of ruminating on it, deciding if I should buy it or not, how much to buy, where to buy it, chilling it, drinking it, pouring it, cleaning the glasses, throwing out the bottles, beating myself up, that was such a huge portion of my life committed to drinking. I was so committed to drinking five plus hours a day. And then I decided, I don’t want to be committed to drinking. I prefer not to think about it every day and not waste so much money doing this and not waste so much time, and not let my health deteriorate and erode, and have my emotions be worse off.

I did not want this for myself. I wanted to be a woman who can take it or leave it. And it started with a commitment. I wanted to be a woman who can take it and leave it. And that’s what I’m committed to.

I was mentioning inside of EpicYOU to the ladies that we recently went to a Padres game which is our baseball team here in San Diego. And I had no alcohol. We went with another couple and they have a daughter and their daughter and my daughter get along. So, it was this lovely family affair that we went to on a Sunday afternoon. We rode the trolley down. We got lunch before we headed into the balk park and they pre partied with some drinks and at the game they had some more drinks.

And my husband and I just decided we’re not going to drink. We chose not to have any because leaving it is who I want to be. Leaving it is just as fun to me now. And that’s what I’m committed to. And so, my life is evidence of that. And here’s a benefit to keeping commitments to yourself. It’s how you build confidence. So many women come to me and say, “I just want to be confident around alcohol. I want to trust myself that I’m not going to drink. I want to trust myself that if I say I’m going to have one drink that’s all I have.

I want confidence around alcohol, and yes, I want that for you too. But I’ll tell you, that’s not where it starts. Confidence is something that develops. You don’t go to a new job and you’re confident starting on day one saying, “I know how to run this place and I know how to do everything this job entails.” No, you have to learn it. So, you can’t be confident right out of the gates. So, confidence is what we think we need right out of the gates, it is not, it is something that develops over time. That’s been my experience and that’s what I’ve seen in my clients.

Confidence is something you need to build. But here’s the thing, keeping your commitments to yourself is how you build confidence. When you’re committed, you don’t let others influence your drinking. When you are committed, you don’t let pool parties, barbecues, baseball games, decide your drinking pattern for the day. When you are committed you decide for you because this is something you want, because this is who you want to be.

And your commitment is a statement of who you are and how you show up in the world. So let me ask you a question, this may get a little uncomfortable. What are you committed to? Look at your life and you will know. Are you proud of what you are committed to? I know I am for me. And I want you to be proud too. If you are not proud of what you’re committed to, decide to commit to something else. Decide to be who you really want to be and how you really want to show up in this world because that’s where it starts, my friends. It starts by being committed.

Alright my friends, that’s what I have for you this week. Have a great week and I will see you next time.

Thanks for listening to Drink Less Lifestyle. If you’re ready to change your relationship with drinking now, check out the free guide, How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit at sherryprice.com/startnow. See you next week.

Enjoy the Show?

Reclaim Your Control and Confidence Over Alcohol

If you like it, share it!

You may also like

Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | Mindful Drinking

Ep #105: Mindful Drinking

What would your drinking look like if you practiced Mindful Drinking? I’ll tell you it looks a LOT different than mindless drinking. Over the years, I’ve seen women who are

Read More »
Scroll to Top

Ready to break your overdrinking habit?

Click below to learn the KEY step to break the overdrinking habit and become a person who can have just one drink and be done.

Complete 50%

Enter your name and email to get instant access to the guide now

Please note that by providing your email address to us, you are agreeing to receive other communications from us from time to time and to the terms of our Privacy Policy.