Ep #106: Stop Overthinking

By: Dr. Sherry Price

Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | Stop Overthinking

Do you feel exhausted by all the things you have to do?

Have you ever said to yourself, “I wish I can just shut my brain off?”

Whether it’s your to-do list running through your head or keeping up with all the errands, house chores, birthdays, doctor appointments, kids’ schedules, and now the holiday parties, you have it all spinning in your mind.

All this mental noise leaves you feel anxious and overwhelmed, making you want to reach for a drink.  Having a drink gives you the relief you want from the constant mental chatter in your head.

Overthinking is mentally draining.  And using alcohol is a common way women switch off their brain. All they want to do is relax and check out for a moment.

Tune in this week as I discuss how to turn down the noise without needing a drink to do so.

 

Be a woman who is in control of her drinking especially around the holidays!  Join my 5-Day Challenge to become a woman who can take it or leave it. You’ll learn the framework that my clients use to stay in control and drink less. The 5-Day Challenge starts October 10th through October 14th 2022 inside my free private community. Come and join us. 

Want my help in breaking your overdrinking or overeating habit? Join me inside EpicYOU where you’ll learn the tools and skills to be healthy, confident and in control.  Join here.

 

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

  • Why so many people struggle with overthinking, especially at night.
  • How your overthinking is showing up negatively in your emotions.
  • My strategy for dealing with your overthinking brain, so you don’t need to turn to alcohol to switch it off.

 

Featured on the Show:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 106.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well hello, my beautiful friends, it is October. Oh my gosh, the year is flying by. And as you may know, I am big into Halloween. So I am loving that it’s October. We are in full swing decorating our house in preparation for our epic Halloween party that is back on this year. Super excited.

And I do plan on posting some pics as we get closer to Halloween on my Instagram page. So feel free to follow me on Instagram if you don’t at Dr. Sherry Price and you will get a glimpse of behind the scenes of how we’re decorating so much of our house for this event. I cannot wait.

And the other big announcement I have for you is that the holidays are coming, right? It’s like Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas. And I even know for a lot of people they feel so out of control around all the festivities, all the food, all the drinking that goes on. And so what I want to help you do is get ahead of that.

So I am doing a five day challenge on how to become a woman who can take it or leave it. And I invite you to this challenge because you are going to learn the tools so you can stay in control around the holidays. And I want you to learn these principles before the holidays hit.

I was listening to a great mentor of mine who gave me such great advice, that if you want to institute a new habit into your life, the best time to do it is when you’re busy. The best time to do it is when it is inconvenient because that’s how you know you’ll commit to it the other times of the year when life isn’t so crazy, when life isn’t so busy.

So I know we’re not “already” in the busy season, but we are certainly gearing up for it. So I want to invite you to this five day challenge inside my free and private community. And I call it a challenge because you will learn the exact framework that I use with my clients so they can up-level whenever they’re around alcohol or whenever they’re around substances that tempt them.

Because I don’t want these substances to have power over you. I want you to up-level so you have power over them. That is how you become a woman who can take it or leave it, my friends, when you know that you can make decisions for your best self.

So I’ll be teaching this throughout the five days starting the week of October 10th. So that’ll go Monday, October 10, through Friday, October 15, in my free and private community where I will be teaching you these tools included with the workbook. And I will be available to answer your questions. Again, you’re going to be getting that framework where you learn how to stay in control so you can become a woman who can take it or leave it.

Now, I know for some people, they use this around alcohol. Some people, they use this around foods, or desserts, or late night snacking. And I’m working with many women right now who want to get off that Covid weight that they’ve put on.

And so you don’t want to fall further behind the ball as these festivities are coming up, as the holidays are coming up, as people eat and drink to get through it or eat and drink and be merry. Whatever the reason they’re over consuming, it is such a popular time of the year for people to over consume.

I want you rather to get ahead of the game where you can hit January 1st going, yep, I’m feeling good and I just need to maintain my goals. Or I have a lot less of a way to go. Because this is not something you do one and done, right? This becomes a lifestyle. Any habit that you do over and over becomes a lifestyle.

So I want to indoctrinate you with these tools so that you have them to practice this to make it a lifestyle. And we’re going to talk about many of the obstacles that women have to overcome, like one is the fear of showing up knowing that they may not be drinking or they may only be having one because there is a lot of fear that women have to deal with. Especially if this is the only way they know to create happiness for themselves, to create a form of pleasure for themselves.

So I want to help you with all of this during my five day challenge. And again, that will be starting the week of October 10th. I’ll be going live teaching these tools at 1pm Pacific, 4pm Eastern. And I’m doing this for you so you can up-level your life and not fall behind the ball, and then come January 1st going, “Ugh, now I have so much further to go to get to the goals that I have.”

Let’s get in front of it, my friends. Let’s get powerful, let’s get healthy, and let’s be confident because that’s what makes us feel epic in our lives. And nothing is more fun than doing this work as a community, doing this work together because you feel the energy from each other. You learn from each other. And I’m going to empower you with tools when we are not together so you can continue to do this for yourself in your life. I can’t wait.

I’ll put the link in the show notes on how to sign up for this. Again, you have to join the free and private community in order to get access to the links, to the workbook, and all of that. And I will put details in the show notes so you can click on that and get enrolled today. I promise you, it’ll be so much fun and I can’t wait to see you inside that free private community on Facebook called Stop The Overdrinking Habit. Again, the link is in the show notes as well.

So with that, I want to transition now to today’s topic, which is fabulous. I hear from a lot of women that they tell me, “I just can’t shut my brain off at night. I just keep thinking of my to do list. I have so much going through my mind, especially now that the holidays are coming and that ramps up my anxiety, that ramps up my overwhelm, that ramps up my to-do list. And I feel like I have to be thinking about it all the time and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

And so this is why a lot of women tell me they drink, right? Because they can’t shut their brain off and alcohol allows them to do so. They can’t stop ruminating on that to-do list that’s going through their mind and how much they got done, but yet how much more they have to get done. Or they tell me they can’t turn down the volume on their kids and just get some peace. Like it’s just crazy in the house and I just need a glass of wine so I can go sit in the corner and have some alone time.

And then there are a few people that come to me and tell me I can’t go to sleep without alcohol. Because whenever I lay down and my head hits the pillow, all of my mind just goes in overdrive. I just start thinking and thinking and ruminating and thinking. I think about what my boss says or what projects or do at work, or what my husband said to me, or what my kids need. And it just all comes at this time of the night for them. And so this causes them to over drink.

So whether you’re thinking about your day, your long list of to-dos, or some people ruminate and perseverate on certain conversations that they’ve had with a significant other or at work and they’re really distraught by them. They’re distraught that they can’t come to an agreement, or that somebody thinks this way and can’t see their way.

Or sometimes it could be just a grief bomb that has hit them, right? They are still dealing with emotional pain from the past. And so these grief bombs show up and when they show up, they can’t get their mind off of it and therefore they want to pour a drink for that relief.

So if you can identify as having any of that go on in your head, I want to tell you that this podcast is for you. In this podcast I want to talk about how to stop overthinking, right? Because that whole conversation is just going on in your head. And I would say a lot of that thinking that’s going on and on and on and on in your head is showing up negatively in your emotions.

And so I’m giving you some tools on today’s podcast because this is the exact work we’re doing inside EpicYOU right now. I just launched a new course called How to Stop Overthinking and I know so many of the women have been asking for this. So I want to equip you with some tools in this podcast, so let’s dive in.

First off, I want to let you know that what you think you want, you probably don’t actually want. And so let me tell you what women will tell me that they want. They say, “Sherry, can you just help me shut my brain off?” That’s what they’ll say to me. And I will really honor that request. But I will say, “I don’t really think that’s what you mean and what you want. Because I really don’t think that’s the outcome you’re seeking.” Right?

It may sound like that’s what you want. But let me tell you why I don’t think this is the outcome you want. So when your brain shuts off, like nothing in your body works, right? There’s no communication to the appendages. There’s no communication at all going out. There might not even be communication going out to your lungs to tell your lungs to breathe in and breathe out, right?

So shutting our brain off, I don’t think is the outcome we want because I don’t think we’re saying I just want to die. I mean I’m laughing, but that’s very tragic, right? I don’t think we just want to end our life, just shut my brain off.

Or if you don’t want to go that dramatic, shutting your brain off I think of it as like a vegetative state, right? Your brain is not communicating to any parts of your limbs, not communicating to most of your body. And I really don’t think that’s the state we want to be living in. So I firmly believe that that’s not what we want. We want the opposite, a full and vibrant life, not a vegetative state.

So when women tell me they want to turn off their brain, I tell them that’s really not what you want. Let’s go after what you really want. Because when we honor the truth, and when we know the truth, it’s easier to paint the road to get there.

So I like to take this out of context always, right? So I’m always giving my ladies examples of, okay, if you mean that here, let’s apply it over here and see what that looks like. Because your brain might be really like, “No, no, that’s really what I want, Sherry.”

So if you were to tell me that you just went through a traumatic breakup and you just want to turn off your heart, right? I just broke up with somebody, it’s the love of my life, and I just want my heart to turn off. That really means we’re going to go into asystole, right? No beats, no heart rate, no pulse, nothing. So I’m pretty sure that’s not what they want, is death, right?

So we don’t want to turn off our brain. What we do want is not to be using our brain so much that it’s overthinking and we feel like smoke is coming out of our ears. And so what we are seeking is that we don’t have a brain that causes painful emotions in our body, right? Just like we would still like our heart, but we just don’t want the heartbreak. We don’t want the painful emotions coming from that.

So what I want to offer up is okay, we know that there’s pain coming from the way the brain is thinking or overthinking or how the brain is analyzing life, right? We know that that’s what we don’t want. Now, if I was to offer up to you, hey, what about this, you had a brain that told you all delightful things, was saying nice, kind, loving things to you all day long.

Like, oh my gosh, you’re a badass. Look at how much you’re getting done at work. Look at how productive you are. Look at what a loving mom you are, what a loving spouse you are. Look at how you take care of your home, it’s beautiful.

Look at how you last handled that patient interaction or that client interaction at work. You really provided them value, you really showed them that you cared. And look at that, you rock. Look at that, people enjoy working with you. Do you see how masterfully you handled that conversation with your child? That was beautiful. Look at this delicious meal you’ve provided for your family.

Now, if we had a brain that said that all day long, I doubt many people would be coming to me saying, “Can you just turn off my brain because I don’t want to hear this anymore.” We wouldn’t be running to alcohol to drown that out. We’d be like, “That sounds pretty nice. Keep going, brain, I want more of that.”

So I provide this contrast for you to see exactly what the real problem is. The problem is you want the nagging thoughts to stop. You want the painful thoughts to stop. You want those negative inner critic thoughts to stop. The ones that make you feel hopeless in a situation. The ones that point out that, hmm, this isn’t going to get any better, or I don’t know how this is going to get any better. Or sometimes my clients just tell me my life downright sucks right now, it’s really hard.

And yes, I’m not going to argue that there aren’t circumstances that don’t suck, there are. That’s where I disagree with some life coaches out there because I truly believe there are circumstances that really suck. I’m not here to tell you just to make hay on the rainy days. No, it’s not possible. I get that. So let’s change the circumstances.

Let’s get the change that you want. Or let’s get a change that’s better than here. Maybe on a scale of one to 10, you’re at a four and you don’t like being at a four. And if I could get you to a six, boom, you would choose that any day of the week.

And so when it comes to methods to stop overthinking I’m going to go through a few with you on this podcast. And the first one that I feel a lot of people turn to as a way to stop overthinking is that they will want to tune out of the bad thoughts. They’ll want to numb the bad thoughts. They won’t want to listen to the bad thoughts.

And this is what most people do, they will want to drown out those bad thoughts, right? This is their best attack at getting at an overthinking negative brain. It’s their default way of handling those painful emotions or an overactive brain.

They want to tune it out by numbing, by escaping. And the way they do that they can scroll social media. They can watch Netflix on end. They can over drink. They can go get snacks and get another snack and 15 minutes later eat another snack.

And I hear people tell me this, right? They reach for a glass of wine or a bottle of wine. It’s Netflix, its Hulu or another TV series designed to get you hooked. So you keep watching. And I’m not opposed to watching TV, not at all. But when you use it to escape your life, oftentimes you don’t do it with any parameters.

You stay up past your bedtime. You wonder why you’re so moody the next day because you didn’t get adequate sleep. You’re craving more carbs, which means you eat more or you eat stuff that wasn’t on your plan. You want maybe more sugar, more coffee, more soda, more alcohol.

And that keeps you in a certain cycle because if that’s the habit you practice to calm an overactive brain, then that’s the lifestyle you’re going to wind up with, right? Because we get better at the things we practice. And the reason we do it is not that we are dumb people, it’s the opposite. It’s that we are smart people. We know it works.

We know that these substances, and TV, and scrolling social media for hours hijacks our brain and makes our brain feel good. And so the brain becomes to rely on this way of dealing with the overactive brain. And if that’s your only way to deal with it, you’ll just do it more and more and more. You’ll ramp up your drinking, you’ll ramp up your eating, you’ll ramp up your TV time because you’re running, escaping, numbing, fleeing all of these bad thoughts.

But here’s the thing, ladies, it comes back and catches up with you. You still have the bad thoughts. They haven’t changed, you just didn’t recognize it for a period of time. And then you’ve got all the problems from overdoing it in the other areas.

Because when we do those other things, in reality the thoughts that we were having in our overactive brain really never went anywhere and they didn’t change at all. They’re still there, we’re just distracted from them. And so when they start to seep back in what will it require? Another snack, another drink, another Netflix binge.

And then we wake up the next day going, why did we do that? Why did we allow our brains to get hijacked? And then we feel shame, and then embarrassment or resentment over it, or disgust. And I will tell you, this is how most people deal with an overactive brain. When they’re an overthinker, and they identify as an overthinker, many of them will have this default way of turning their brain off, as they like to say.

And I’ll tell you, the alcohol industry and Netflix and the snack industry is capitalizing on this, right? They’re no fools. They’re like, “Woo-hoo, we’re going to show you people watching TV, eating popcorn, and having an alcoholic beverage at the movie theater.” Right? The trifecta, let’s do it all together.

So you are making other people millions and millions of dollars richer. And inside, you’re getting less healthy, being less confident in you, and not owning your own power. And over time this way of life makes us sick. Sick mentally, sick emotionally, and sick physically, and I would also argue sick spiritually.

So while it’s the most popular way to stop an overactive brain, it is certainly the one that should not be used on default over and over again because of the deleterious consequences, the damaging consequences, the life robbing consequences.

Okay, so another way people deal with an overactive brain is that they take what I just said, is they tune out the bad thoughts, but now they add on another piece to it. And that’s what I call accentuating the bad. So they try to tune out the bad thoughts while they’re accentuating the bad thoughts. I know it sounds a little counterintuitive, but let me give you a few examples.

So I would argue that this pattern is even worse than the first pattern that I talked about. So this would be somebody who not only drinks to numb, to escape, but they’re talking about their bad day as their doing it. They’re talking about their bad thoughts as they’re doing it.

So think about if you’ve ever called your friend, or you’ve called your mom, or maybe a sister or some other confidant you have and you’re telling them how awful this thing was that has happened to you. Maybe somebody mistreated you at work, maybe somebody said a snide comment to you.

Or somebody took credit for the work that you did and you didn’t get the proper accolades. Or maybe how your boss is demanding more of you, or the system is demanding more of you, or you have to get your job done in less time.

So you’re drinking to numb out while you’re on the phone or while you’re at the bar talking to your friend, your sister, your mom. And you’re talking about this negative story, this miserable story, and you’re reliving it all over again. So much so that it actually gets you riled up, it gets you fired up.

You notice a change in your voice, you’re shouting over the phone, or you’re screaming, or you’re just talking really loud and emphatically. All the while you keep pouring the alcohol, you keep snacking. And you’re talking about this injustice. It shouldn’t have happened, things shouldn’t be this way.

So you’re taking the action of numbing out from it, but then you’re tuning back into the negative thoughts you’re trying to numb out from. And so this is a double whammy. And why it’s a double whammy is because the narrative you’re telling while you’re trying to numb is actually cementing in those negative feelings and further cementing in that narrative that you have.

And then another part of this will make it worse, your friend, your sister, your mom, they are probably agreeing with you. Because they want you to know they support you and so they want to take your side. And they want you to feel good, because they want you to know that they support you.

But what this doesn’t help, is it doesn’t help that they’re not helping you solve the issue. All they’re doing is pouring a little more salt in that wound. Yep, that shouldn’t have happened. Yep, I agree with you. Oh, I so agree with you, I see it your way.

So what we wind up doing is first drinking to escape the problem. But we’re talking about the problem, so we’re not actually escaping it, we’re reliving it. And we’re building that narrative even more in our mind and in our bodies. And then we surround ourselves with people who don’t actually want to help us solve it, they just want to listen. So some people would describe this as talk therapy. And I tell you, this is not what talk therapy is.

Now, I have a few members of my program that do this with even their husbands, right? They go to their husbands with their bad work day. And their husbands will listen because we oftentimes don’t like it when our husbands try to problem solve, right? A lot of us have told her husbands, “Nope, this is just a time for you to listen, this is not a time for you to problem solve.”

And I tell you that this is just venting. Please don’t call this talk therapy because it’s not. It’s not a form of therapy, it’s actually more damaging than you know. It’s more damaging than just numbing. And your friends might be even giving you terrible advice. Maybe, maybe not, I don’t know.

But if they only get one side of the story and they don’t get the complete picture, they’re already set up to give you a biased solution to the problem. Plus, friends aren’t therapists, right? They’re not trained on how to guide people to make great decisions. They have their life experiences that they pull from and that’s all they know.

So sometimes I see the members in my program, they have girlfriends that I call they just pour gasoline on the fire. All they’re doing is making that situation more toxic to the person experiencing it. And then they’re wondering why their drinking and overeating goes up. Because they need more relief, because they’ve just intensified the pain. And it’s sad when this happens because we might feel good to get the support. We might feel that we are actually getting somewhere with this, but we’re not.

And that’s why I like to say this is like cementing in the narrative you’ve already given to the situation. And when I say cement in, I mean it makes you feel more stuck, where you feel there’s less solutions and less options to get out.

Now, talk therapy or whatever you want to call this, I call it venting, right? This may be appropriate for small, minor disappointments in life. I’m not saying to never do it. But when you’re handling big stuff in life, when you’re handling really challenging things, when you’re handling something that seems to keep coming up maybe in a last job and now at this job, or with a previous husband and now with this husband tells me you didn’t actually solve it the first time around.

I know I’ve worked with women who talk about their divorce as if it was just yesterday when it actually happened years ago. And they meet up with other girlfriends who might be separated or going through a divorce and the whole goal of meeting up is to talk about the divorce.

Now, if you’re just doing this to vent, that’s one thing. More power to you, go, right? But venting doesn’t help solve doesn’t help heal. And it creates the conditions over again to hang on to those feelings, whatever those feelings are. It could be hurt, it could be pain, it could be sadness.

And here’s another thing I also want to remind you, when you are drinking and having too much alcohol, you are impairing your brain. So it’s not likely you’re going to come up with a great solution with an impaired brain. It may sound great that night, but then you think about it the next day and you’re like, “Why did I think that would work,” right?

Because now you have all faculties, your whole cognition onboard and you’re like, “Yeah, that was a really dumb idea. Why was I thinking that was a great idea last night?” It’s because your mental faculties were impaired. That’s what alcohol does to the brain. So if you’re a woman that likes results and likes to get results, this is not the path that’s going to get you there the quickest, or get you there maybe at all.

I find a lot of women get lost in the weeds for years on the same problem and don’t know how to find their way back. And all they learned in those years is I need this friend, I need this alcohol, and I need this every Thursday night, or whatever their customary meet up time is. But they’re not actually healing.

When I asked the women to look at the results, when they actually measure the metrics to see if they’ve healed more in those last three years, let’s say, or whatever timeframe and when they really look at the hard outcome and they say, “Wow, you’re right. In the moment it feels good, but over the course of time it didn’t really change anything. I’m still just as bitter. I’m still not moving towards my goals like I thought I was. And you know what? I still feel like a victim, like I did that many years ago.”

And that’s why I call it like cement, ladies. I don’t want you to do this if it’s only going to disempower you in the long term and it’s going to create a dependency that’s not helping you. This is not healing. It’s actually the opposite, it’s very, very damaging.

And I say this to you and I say this to my members because I care enough to let them know the truth. Because you don’t know what you don’t know. I know I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And here’s the thing, ladies, once you know, commit to doing better.

I was recently working with a divorced woman who just was adamant her divorce was getting better and better each month. And how meeting up at a country club with another woman for glasses and glasses of wine was actually helping heal. But when we really looked at it, it wasn’t.

She even said, “I’m not making any progress and I thought I was. And I’m not any closer to the goals that I have for myself and for my ex-husband. I’m no closer.” And she also saw how she was being the victim in this instance. And she saw that playing the victim was keeping her from her goals. She needed a complete shift.

And while there might be pain in recognizing the truth, ladies, I want to tell you it’s so powerful. It is so powerful to recognize, oh my gosh, what I thought was working isn’t. Please help me find what will. That is your place of power. That’s when you can really look at the results in your life and say, “Am I closer or not?” And when you bring that awareness to the truth, that’s when the truth can begin to transform you.

And just going back to that lady, it was no wonder why she couldn’t give up the alcohol like she wanted to. She wanted to totally stop drinking, but she couldn’t because she has been using it to escape the pain for so long. And using it as a form of therapy during meeting up with a friend, all the while thinking she was making progress.

So I highlight that story for you, ladies, because I want you to be careful how you are using alcohol. And if you’re using it while you’re continuing to complain about the negative thoughts, know that you are further cementing that narrative and those feelings into your body. And you are creating a more and more dependency on alcohol.

You may not know this, but by doing this you are actually amplifying your own inner critic. And because the inner critic gets amplified, he gets louder or she gets louder, it becomes more painful. So what do you need? More alcohol. More alcohol to quiet the overactive brain. Not only the overactive brain, but the overactive negative brain.

So these are the two approaches most people use to quiet an overactive brain or to stop overthinking. These two approaches, I absolutely do not recommend for reasons that I’ve highlighted. So now let’s talk about an approach that I do recommend that is unlike the other two. And this is where you look at your bad thoughts and you actually turn them into neutral or good thoughts.

This is one of the fundamental skills I teach all of my members inside of EpicYOU. When you join EpicYOU, you get access to a fundamentals course, and in that fundamentals course is where you learn this tool. And it’s not the only place you learn it, we come back to it and other courses.

But it is a skill that you must practice in order to master it. And most of us have no idea what we’re thinking, let alone how to change it. Like, “How do I change that to a neutral or positive thought? If only I knew how I would.” What most people do is like, “Oh, let me just buy something new or let me just wait for the circumstances to change and then I’ll get to feel better.”

Yes, if you buy something new it’ll work temporarily. And yes, if your circumstances change, it could work. But do you want to wait for the circumstances to change or do you want to be a catalyst for the circumstances to change?

I say, let’s be a catalyst. Let’s empower ourselves to get the life that we want, especially if it’s part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, right? If you’re living without food and shelter and clothing, we need to get those we need to change that circumstance ASAP, right?

We already know what is needed for life and what’s needed for good life. Where most of us are at on that triad and that hierarchy of needs is at the top, self-actualization. But a lot of us don’t know how to get there. A lot of us don’t know how to make ourselves feel good.

We turn to substances outside of us because it’s easy to do and it’s advertised all the time. Just turn on the TV it’ll tell you what you need. I mean, as if McDonald’s wasn’t enough for kids, they had to throw in toys with it to make it a happy happy meal. And then they do the same thing for adults, there’s happy hour, right? We go from happy meals for kids to happy hour for adults.

We’re sold the power of food and alcohol everywhere. But you can learn to do this work without relying on alcohol or food or something outside of you. And that’s what I love teaching. That’s why I show up and do this podcast every week, helping you with these tools so you don’t default to old habits and old ways of being and thinking, thinking that this is as good as life gets.

Because it gets so much better when you have the tools. And as I’m talking with the ladies each and every week, it’s like we are acting from our place of power. Because when you can change your thoughts into neutral ones, you can literally stop causing yourself more pain, more suffering, more anxiety, more depression, just by going to neutral ones.

Most of us think we have to go 180 degrees, right? We have to think the direct opposite. Well, great if you can get your mind there, but a lot of people can’t initially. And so you want to work with your brain and you want to work with moves that actually work. I call those power moves.

Those are actions that get you traction. And that means they get to your results, the things that you actually want in your life. And so, my friends, I invite you to change your bad thoughts into neutral ones, into good ones. Become an expert at this, become a master at this. Because the quality of your life depends on it.

Now please don’t hear me to say that you will experience rainbows, daisies, and feel good feelings all the time. That’s not it. That’s not why we do this. It’s to reduce our own pain and suffering. But by reducing pain and suffering, that doesn’t mean we necessarily think happy thoughts all the time, right? That’s what I refer to as toxic positivity. When we think we have to think rainbows and daisies and happy thoughts all the time.

That’s not what I’m saying here. I say even embrace neutral because neutral feels better than negative. And this is not something new age, right? This has been since biblical times. Way back the stoics, Aristotle talked about it, Socrates talked about it, right? We have so many examples of this, right? Even Romans 12:2 is all about this, where we’re invited to be transformed by the renewing of our mind because we have freewill, because we can do it.

The problem is most of us don’t or don’t know how. And that’s where I dive deep into this material inside EpicYOU so you can follow that framework. So that strategy works wonders. And finally, I’ll give you another strategy that we’re talking about inside EpicYOU this month. And it’s the strategy of creating cognitive ease. Doesn’t that sound lovely? You have cognitive ease, think about that, your mind is at ease.

Now, there are many ways to create cognitive ease. And I will be discussing so many of those ways to create cognitive ease inside of the program. But let me give you one simple tool here, this has worked dramatically well for one of the members inside EpicYOU. And that is cognitive ease, your mind feels at ease when you can break things down into smaller pieces, right?

There’s that joke, how do you eat an elephant? And the answer is one bite at a time. Your brain works the same way, small, digestible chunks. As they mentioned, there is one member inside EpicYOU, who this one small strategy really transformed how productive she was able to be. And that translated to how much she just didn’t want alcohol.

So not only was she able to get more done, she felt better and she didn’t require alcohol. So this woman would spin out, she’d come to our call saying, “I’m feeling so overwhelmed. I just don’t know what to do. And now I’m drinking.” And she noticed she drank whenever she felt overwhelmed.

And then she’d get mad because she’d wind up getting very little done. And her to-do list kept growing and growing and growing. And so seeing this pattern in her life, she saw that what she needed was to create cognitive ease. And we tried several different methods and this method worked every single time for her because she freed herself up from the agony of feeling overwhelmed.

She would even post pictures of all the things she accomplished when she instituted the strategy. She’d clean out her entire kitchen. One time she posted this beautiful table she had completely stripped and refurbished and painted, and it was vintage looking and just a gorgeous piece of furniture. The before and after pictures were amazing.

And then one time she comes to the call saying, “Oh my gosh, I just have so much to do, my drinking is back up.” And we say, of course it is because she’s in overwhelm. And so we created cognitive ease and boom, she got her entire garage done in like two to three days, totally cleaned out. She was unstoppable once she learned how to create cognitive ease.

Now all of us humans, we like to over complicate things. We think things are going to take so long and they’re going to be so hard. And our mind just goes on fire thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and creating more complexity to it, right? So it’s so helpful to have a toolbox of skills that you can tap into and say, “Oh wait, my overthinking can be cured with some cognitive ease.”

I love these tools so much, my friends. And I can’t wait to teach more of them to you inside EpicYOU because when you learn to manage your mind, you can train it to work for you and not against you. And when it works for you, you feel better. You’re no longer fighting with yourself. You’re not causing that cognitive dissonance to yourself. You are aligned, and things flow much easier.

And then your life explodes with so much more possibilities because no one wants to stay stuck ruminating and overthinking. That’s draining, that’s exhausting. And you probably only get half done when you’re in that space. But rather learn to harness and transform your mind. That’s how you start to transform your life. And therefore you’re no longer dependent on things outside of you. You are free to be the woman you are and want to be.

So powerful, my friends. All right, make sure you sign up for that five day challenge, I can’t wait to see you there. Come join us inside EpicYOU if you want more of these tips on how to stop overthinking. And know that I love you all so very much.

All right, my friends, that’s it for today and I’ll see you next week.

If you want to change your relationship with alcohol and with yourself, then come check out EpicYOU. It’s where you get individualized help mastering the tools so you can become a woman who can take it or leave it and be in control around alcohol in any situation.

EpicYOU is the place for women who want to be healthy, confident, and empowered to accomplish their goals and live their best life. Come join us over at epicyou.com/epicyou That’s epicyou.com/ E-P-I-C-Y-O-U, I can’t wait to see you there.

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