Ep #157: Focus Your Mind

By: Dr. Sherry Price

Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | Focus Your Mind

When you go to a conference, read a book, or listen to a podcast, do you expect the information itself to change you?

Information alone doesn’t lead to transformation.

However, when you can truly focus your mind and be fully open to receiving new information, that’s when you start getting results.

Many people go through life with preconceived notions, thinking all they need to do is absorb information to lose weight, exercise more, or drink less.

But when you focus your mind on the results you want and truly open yourself up to applying new knowledge in your life, you get the most out of the information you consume.

When you focus your mind, you get results.

Tune in this week with an open, non-distracted mind and discover why a focused mind separates the learners from the doers, and how this one skill takes your life from good to epic!

 

Are you ready to stop overdrinking, overeating, and create a happier, healthier lifestyle? If yes, then come join EpicYOU! You’ll learn how to become a woman who can take it or leave it while creating a life you love. Click here to join.

 

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

  • Why focus doesn’t come naturally to our brains.
  • How focusing your mind gets you faster, quicker results.
  • What you can do to show up with a more focused mind in pursuit of your goals.

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 157.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well hello, my beautiful friend, good morning. I am recording this podcast pretty early in the morning because I have to go out to a seminar that I signed up for and I will be driving there later today. Super excited.

Another seminar that I recently participated in was how to live an anti-inflammatory life. Wow, that presentation, the speaker was amazing. Sometimes you go to these seminars or these conferences and they just drone on like a college professor but this speaker was phenomenal, great examples, really brought the information into how you can incorporate it into your life. Phenomenal, phenomenal teacher. And I learned so much during that event.

And what my take home message from that besides the content that she delivered, which was amazing was that a lot of people think when they go and get information, when they go to a seminar for a day and get information or they go to a conference or they listen to a podcast or they read a book. A lot of times, I think we expect the information to change us. And I will say, information doesn’t always change us. Information doesn’t always lead to transformation.

And that’s why we’re going and investing our time, our money into listening to these, going to these events so that we can be transformed by the knowledge that we gain. So there is another component to that, it’s not just the information. To me, it’s when you connect that information and allow it to transform you from not only a cognitive perspective but from a body perspective. When you really soak and marinate in that information, that’s when you can apply it to your life, you start applying it to your life, and that’s when the transformation happens.

And that’s the exact experience I had in this lecture hall. It was really a didactic lecture. The speaker didn’t ask for any audience participation and she went on and on and on about the principles of living an anti-inflammatory life. And so there were a few components of why I was able to let that information transform me. And one of the biggest reasons why I got so much out of that information, why I got so much out of that whole day session was that I came fully open to receive the information.

I came fully open to say, “Okay, maybe what I’ve learned in the past 40 plus years of my life has been wrong.” And new data is available that may contradict what I’ve learned. And I was also fully present in that moment. I wasn’t distracted on my phone. I wasn’t checking messages. I wasn’t looking around. I was really in the moment.

And I bring up this example because we are going to get into this podcast episode talking about how you can get results in your life by focusing your mind and being very open to hear things in a new way. A lot of us go through life with preconceived notions like, it’s going to always take me 25 minutes to get to work or this is the way my brain expects something to go. But when you really focus your mind on, what is the result I want and focus your mind on not just the information but getting transformation and applying it.

How you are going to apply this to your daily life is actually how I would love for you to come and listen to this podcast because that’s how you’re going to get the most out of it. So what I’m talking about here doesn’t come intuitively. We are humans, we are people that look at things when things are abnormal or when things are out of the ordinary or somebody moves or coughs or starts talking behind you. And our brain will like to go to that squirrel to focus on it.

The brain gets so easily distracted by looking at other things. Our brain notices novelty. Our brain notices when other things are happening around us. But focusing your mind is how you’re going to get faster, quicker results. So this is a huge skill, my friend. Not many people can master this. And actually there’s been recently some awesome books that have made the bestseller list, talking about where your attention goes, your energy flows and how to do deep work.

Cal Newport wrote that great book, Deep Work because our attention span is so distracted with social media and all these dings and notifications and things to do on our to-do list that are a mile long. That our brains just keep spinning and spiraling and looking at the next thing and get distracted and not really focused. So in this podcast episode, I really want to talk about how to focus your mind because this one skill really separates the learners from the doers.

You can know all the information, you can know how to eat healthy, you can know how to exercise your body, you can know how to reduce stress, you can know how to decrease your alcohol intake and change your desire for it. All that is fine, but wouldn’t it be much better if you were a doer and applied all that information to your life? Wouldn’t your life be more epic if you actually got the results that you intended to get? Wouldn’t you feel more amazing and be able to help more people on their journey to whatever they’re seeking?

And wouldn’t the whole world expand its consciousness and be happier if they were able to achieve their goals and results? So if you want transformation, if you want the results to come in your life, you must learn to focus your mind. So let’s go through some principles on exactly how to do that.

So first up, I’m actually going to talk about what not to do because I see this all the time in helping women change their life so they love it, so they don’t need alcohol and they get to choose to have freedom around alcohol. And if they have a drink, they’re not berating themselves. They know how to control it, they know how to be around it. They don’t say yes all the time. They don’t go overboard. They’re not embarrassed. They’re not full of regret. All of these things which commonly happen with alcohol.

So principle number one is please, please, this will hinder your success more than anything else is that you don’t want to focus on what you don’t want. And that goes for any area of your life, alcohol, relationships, weight loss, fat loss. The brain will not get the results you are looking for by that strategy. It may get results for a very short period of time, but then it won’t be able to be sustainable. Focusing on what you don’t want is like telling your brain I kind of want this.

So when I hear women say, “I don’t want to over-drink anymore”, I’m like, “Great, that’s a start. So what do you want instead?” I don’t want to keep filling my face with ice-cream or dessert after dinner. Great. What do you want instead?

I have to tell you a quick story. Recently I was working with a woman who had been through a very hard relationship breakup. It was very hard on her, soul crushing, heartbreaking break up. And of course, no surprise, her drinking went up because of this massive heartbreak. She kept talking about the relationship that she wanted with this man that she was dating. And she kept doing more and more and more and more to keep this relationship alive.

And I could see when she’d come to the call she wanted this man a part of her life and she wanted him to increase his commitment level to the relationship, but he was not. And I kept coaching her to think, I was so with her, let’s get this guy more committed, let’s do that, let’s do that. And as she kept talking and as she kept bringing more examples and as I kept coaching her, I realized he doesn’t want a greater commitment than what he’s giving. It was so clear, there were all the warning signs all over every example she brought to the table.

And so before giving up on the relationship we tried a few strategies to really test his commitment, because isn’t that really what she wants to know, what is his commitment level? Because then if the relationship blossoms. Great. And then if the relationship doesn’t. Great, we now know. And so while she’s doing this process, her drinking was coming down because we were getting to the root cause of why she was over-drinking. Within a very short period of time she had her answer. He was not ready to commit to the level that she wanted.

So now we had a different root cause to solve for. Now she’s in heartbreak and that’s a very painful place to be. We have all been there. We have all been, I think we have all been there, that we’ve been rejected by somebody who we really care about, but they can’t give us the same love, respect and commitment that we want. And that is a painful, painful place to be. It feels so raw, so vulnerable, so desperate, that that’s often a place of darkness where people do turn to overeating and do turn to over-drinking just to feel a little bit better or just to numb out some of that pain.

And as she’s going through this process, she says, “I just don’t want to think about him anymore. I just want to move on.” And she kept saying, “I just don’t want to think about him anymore. I just don’t want to think about him anymore.” So do you see how she’s telling her brain what she doesn’t want? So what happens when you tell your brain what you don’t want? You start thinking about it more? I just don’t want to think about him. You’re thinking about him when you’re saying, “I just don’t want to think about him”, you’re thinking about him.

If you’re saying, “I don’t want to over-drink or I’m not going to drink tonight”, what are you thinking about? You’re thinking about the alcohol or you’re thinking about what it is you don’t want. I don’t want my belly fat. You’re thinking more about your belly fat. That’s not helping you get what you do want because you keep filling your brain with what you don’t want, which sounds nice. But the brain is like, we’re talking about belly fat. Oh, let’s look at the belly fat. And then how do you feel when you think about your belly fat?

I will tell you. My clients are telling me they don’t like it. They don’t have a healthy relationship with their belly fat. And I get it. I get it, you want change, but that’s not the quickest and most effective way to get it with the brain that you have in your head. Not only that, notice how that makes you feel inside. I don’t want to over-drink tonight. I just want to stop thinking about him. You sound exasperated. You sound like this is going to be so hard. So what feelings does that create inside your body? Not motivation. It creates more pain, more suffering, more discomfort, less joy.

Now, I bring all this up because I’ve talked about this in the past on a podcast episode where I talked about avoid versus approach mentality. And so if you want to avoid alcohol, avoid thinking about him, avoid something in your life, avoid more belly fat. It’s not going to be the most effective approach to getting results that you want. And here’s what I find, people beat themselves up for having that result in their life. Well, if I didn’t stop exercising, well, if I didn’t eat like a jerk, well, if I could just control X, Y and Z.

And then they start badgering themselves and belittling themselves and making themselves feel worse. So having that avoid mentality doesn’t take you to where you want to go. So when I asked my client about, if we weren’t thinking about him, what would you want to think about? What do you want in your life? And this part was dramatic because, she said, “I just want to be with somebody in a committed relationship where we enjoy each other’s company.” The moment she said that her shoulders relaxed, she took a deep breath and her energy immediately shifted.

And I just let that moment hang in the air. And then I said, “How does that feel in your body?” And she just started laughing and a little bit of tears came down. She’s like, “That feels so good.” And I said, “That’s what you really want because when you have that in your life then what happens? You instantly and automatically stop thinking about him because you’ve moved on and filled that void with somebody who meets it so therefore you’re no longer concerned about that relationship so much ending.”

And when she started to focus on what she wanted, she started dating again. And within such a short period of time, she found somebody she is happy with. And of course, her over-drinking has subsided. I use this example to illustrate how powerful this is in your life when you apply it. It’s not just knowing about it, it’s applying it to your life.

Now, we also prepped her to make sure if she does meet this next man, that she’s open to receive, that she’s not closed minded and closed down still harnessing some kindle for the old relationship, still harnessing some of those flames, because that’s going to serve as a block. And this new person could come into her life, be wonderful, but if she’s not open to receive it, the opportunity is going to pass her by.

So just like I walked into that one day seminar, I was open to receive the information. I was open to receive where I’ve been wrong in the past about my beliefs, my thoughts about an anti-inflammatory diet, and what needs to change so that I can start implementing the new stuff in my life. So an openness, a willing to receive, not clinging to the past, not clinging to old ideas, not clinging to old behaviors that weren’t getting you what you actually want.

And this part is huge and I will tell you that it is such a shift. And it’s one of the reasons why my programs are so successful. And if you look at a lot of addiction programs, support group programs, they start out acknowledging the trouble and they go around talking about how it’s been bad in their life. And a lot of times they will preach that you are powerless. You are powerless over the substance. You are powerless over the behavior. The behavior’s bad. The substance is bad.

People come out saying, “I know what I’m doing is bad. I shouldn’t be doing this. This is wrong. This is bad. This is evil. This is toxic. This is hurting me. This is hurting others.” And yes, that’s one way you can get to recovery, but notice the efficacy of those programs is not very high. A lot of it is about the avoid mentality, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid. And inside one can feel morally flawed, one can feel so despondent, so beaten up and being told you’re powerless. I would never want to be told I’m powerless.

I want to know how to increase my power, how to step into my power. So it would be better off if we can start with, hey, here’s what’s wrong but let’s go a different route and say, “How can my life be better? What is missing? What do I want that’s not a part of my life? What needs to change?” Because your brain wants to go somewhere positive. It wants more happiness, more joy, more of something in the life. It’s more motivating to have that approach mentality than avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid.

And so programs that bring in this part of the process are way more effective at recovery, at getting people cured or whatever they use. I don’t even like the word cured. I don’t like the word fixed. I just think they’re meaningless. Let’s get you living the life you want to be living. I know a lot of people like to say, “Break free from the chains of addiction.” But I don’t think that’s half as motivating as saying, “What are your life goals and let’s get those.” That is powerful. That is amazing. I’m on board, sign me up. And now my brain is motivated.

Now my brain is thinking about possibility, what the future holds, how I can have that, how I can get there. So it’s focusing my mind on what it wants, not what it doesn’t want. And just to go on this a little bit more, how much of society just waits until things get worse? They wait, they wait, they wait, they don’t fix their diet, they don’t fix their exercise, they don’t fix their alcohol. They just keep waiting and waiting and waiting till it gets bad, real bad.

They want the diagnosis, they want the increased liver enzymes, which tells us that’s end stage, because we don’t look for liver damage early on. When your LFTs start going up, that’s an end stage marker. So whether it’s the diagnosis, whether it’s the laboratory confirming, yes, things are looking really bad. You really have to intervene now or hitting rock bottom, we just keep justifying what we’re doing and that is going to be okay, or I just put it off another couple of months or I’ll put it off this year.

But what if we could be more preventative? What if we can look at change as something that is happening anyway? The more you drink, the more your liver is being harmed, the more the brain is being harmed. And instead of saying, “Stop drinking or stop over-drinking”, what if we help people get the life that they want, solve the problems in their life that’s causing them to want to numb out or imbibe in this substance? It could be so many things.

You’re not happy with your body weight. You’re not happy with the results you’re getting at the gym or you’re on the corporate ladder doing all the things, but you’re still unfulfilled in your life because your ladder is not set to the right wall. Or maybe you’re just simply confused, you’re doing all the things thinking you should be happy and you’re really not. You’re not satisfied in your life. There’s still something that’s missing, that could be a spiritual component.

And for a lot of people, it could be, they don’t feel worthy unless they keep earning stars and earning badges and getting promotions and getting to the next rung, thinking that that will suffice or quell that inner self-worth problem. And if that’s what we have to go after, let’s do that because we are all worthy. The fact that we are alive makes us worthy. And oftentimes what I see is a lot of people say, “My life is good.”

And good could be the enemy of great, just settling for good, not that it’s bad, but if it’s causing you to do behaviors and things that you’re like, “Yeah, but I don’t really want this in my life.” Well, let’s take your life from good to epic, which is my version of great, a great marriage, a great career. Or I’m not even going to say that everybody even wants that. Some people don’t want their marriage and would be perfectly happy being off on their own or they want a different marriage.

But here’s what I see when you settle for the status quo, particularly the status quo set by society, not many people find that they are gratified by that. Because it’s this blanketed standard that when we meet it and we’re still feeling unfulfilled must not be our standard. It must be the standard for others or the standard so they can sell you more things like country club memberships or wine club memberships or this is the way you should be vacationing or this is the way you should be doing life but that mold doesn’t fit for everybody, we’re all unique.

And embracing that uniqueness part of you is a journey, but it’s the most fulfilling one. Look, when I walk out and I say I live a drink less lifestyle, that is not going to be accepted by many parts of society, but I don’t care. I want to do my life on my terms in my way, what makes me excited. And I’ll tell you what, too much alcohol really gets in the way of that. It gets in the way of my health goals, my wellness goals, how I feel about myself, how I parent, the spouse I show up as. I don’t like that version of Sherry.

And just think about it, if we set our standard for the status quo, what is happening right now in America, if you just take exercise alone. Let’s just look at how many of us get in the necessary exercise that our bodies crave and need for health and longevity. This is not talking about becoming a bodybuilder or an Olympian or running iron mans. This is the amount of weekly exercise that we should be getting in. Do you know what that percentage is? It’s not very high. It’s less than 20%.

Less than 20% of Americans are doing the right type and the right amount of exercise. What’s that? Less than one in five. So I don’t want the status quo for my life. I don’t want the standard. I don’t want to be part of the norm. I want to be outside of that. I want to be exceptional. I want to be epic because I know health is wealth. When I feel good, when I take care of my body, my body runs better, my brain runs better and I enjoy my life more. That’s a high quality life.

So approach goals tend to foster a more positive and motivated mindset, so focusing your mind on the positive and motivated goal of what you want. And when you do it this way, it leads to a more enjoyable process. You’ll find that you have greater enthusiasm when you take your actions that are required to achieve those goals. But in contrast, if you have the avoid mentality and you are living under that, you will have more fear, you will have more fear of missing out. I won’t enjoy life as much. And this, my friends, can cause you more stress and reduce the overall enjoyment of the process.

And when you actually achieve the goal that you are saying you want to avoid, you don’t feel as happy about it. You feel less about that accomplishment, and you actually feel more about the relief, which is not the best feeling. A better feeling is a sense of accomplishment rather than, yeah, it feels good, relief. When I end my day I love to focus on how much I’ve accomplished. And not that it means I’m more worthy. It just means I got done what I wanted to get done for me, for my health, for my wellness.

Whereas white knuckling through the day, getting it all done for somebody else and doing these things for everyone else, not that it’s not important and not that it’s not needed, but that and that’s when you get to the end of the day and you’re so stressed out and you feel like I just need some relief. But what if you ended the day feeling so accomplished?

If you felt so accomplished would you even need relief? No, because you feel amazing by all the things that you were able to accomplish, particularly if you were on that list, if things that mattered to you were on that list. And see how I’m feeding my brain. It’s all about what you feed your brain, which is step number two.

What are you feeding your brain? Now, of course, the diet component is important. We want to have a brain healthy diet, but it goes way beyond just food. What thoughts are you feeding your brain? Are you saying thoughts of, “I can’t have alcohol tonight?” Again, that avoid mentality again, focusing on what you don’t want. I shouldn’t go to the liquor store tonight. I have to go grocery shopping and I should avoid that alcohol aisle. Or I’m going out with friends tonight and I guess I’ll just have water.

Or what most people think, I’m going out with friends tonight and I’ll just say no to the drinks. Well, yeah, let’s look at how that just say no campaign worked. Yeah, not so well and it actually backfired because we know the use of alcohol and drugs went up during that campaign, not down. Which further goes to show you how much research there is in this area and yet we still use outdated models, talking to ourselves in these ways that aren’t effective.

The data is clear, it’s not effective, ladies. You’re missing the bigger picture of life. What is your life about? What do you want more of? And I get it. A lot of people want to suffer less. They want to hurt less due to past traumas or current things going on in their life. Great. That’s one step of saying what you want less of. What do you want more of? And many people have an unhealthy relationship with their mind, with their body and with other components of their life.

And you won’t be able to drink less long term unless we look at these components of your life because the triggers are still there. And if we don’t deal with them, if you weren’t taught how to deal with them, if you weren’t taught how to heal them, they will continue to be a trigger and I get it. A lot of times in our 20s and 30s, we’re just so focused on the career, raising kids or getting the life that we push a lot of this behind, but then it creeps up.

And I’m seeing a lot of women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond saying, “I’ve got to deal with this because I’ve been having an overeating problem for years or decades or an over-drinking problem for years or decades, just an unhealthy relationship with my body or these substances, and I’m just done.” And that could be part of the problem too, is when you’re so driven and you have high cortisol and that’s knocking on your adrenals and you get fatigued and you’re easily tired and you can’t handle stress like you used to and you’re feeling burned out from all that you’re doing.

We need to address that issue, if not, the drinking will remain. Right now I am pulling so much of this work around cortisol and how women have high cortisol leading to more fat, especially in their abdominal area and around their organs. And this is the hardest fat to get rid of and burn off of our bodies. And a lot of us aren’t doing the right exercise to burn off that fat. And we keep thinking, what’s worked in our 20s and 30s, since it worked then, our brain has learned, yes, keep doing more of that.

But it’s actually backfiring and causing more cortisol and more stress and more abdominal weight gain and more blood sugar dysregulation and more sugar cravings and high blood pressure. And the list goes on and on. And you have to address the cortisol issue in midlife and beyond. Diet and exercise alone will fix a lot, but it won’t fix everything. And so look at the areas of your life where you’re like, “Keep trying, keep trying, keep trying.” Are they working? What is working and what isn’t working? Because we change, our hormones change, our life changes, our body changes.

Just look in the mirror, our body changes over time. And embracing that change and working with how we’re changing is much easier than relying on the past. Which we didn’t have as much information about cortisol and all the ways that the body uses different macros to fuel itself and to rebuild itself and then to break down and disregard some damaged cells and get rid of fat cells.

And all this new literature, all this new research that’s widely available now is amazing, but a lot of us can feel overwhelmed by it, that we don’t know how to break it down into manageable, digestible and simple steps to do in our daily life. So that over time we are moving towards that goal that we want. I had to come to terms with what was working in my 20s and 30s, wasn’t serving me in my 40s. I saw that in how my body responded.

Now, I can block that off and say, “No, just got to keep trying, just got to keep trying.” Or I can say, “Oh, wait, I’m now in a different phase of my life. I’m now in this hormonal shift in my life and let me work with the progesterone and estrogen and testosterone and cortisol and all these hormonal shifts that I’m now experiencing.” Rather than just turning a blind eye and say, “No, I’m just going to keep going. I’m just going to keep going. I know this will work.” And then in talking with other women, they’re like, “Yeah, it doesn’t work.”

So it’s not just my experience. It’s the wealth of data and preponderance of data that we have that says, yeah, we need to change, strength training needs to be part of your regimen if you’re wanting to burn fat. And not only that, it helps your bones, it helps your mood, it helps stabilize your mood, it feels good. You carry yourself differently. Your brain works better, you get less brain fog, better cognitive skills, which goes back to how are you feeding your brain? And I don’t just mean with food.

Are you giving your brain the right fuel, meaning exercise, food, thoughts? Are you feeding it motivation by your goals? Are you learning new things which also helps neuroplasticity? Are you changing the way you think about you and yourself and your role in your life, which comes back to that concept of what is your self-concept? And that evolves my friends, over time. The goals I had in my 30s, they’re no longer the same goals. My goals have changed. My body has changed. My life has changed.

What was important to me then, some of it’s still important to me, some of it actually grew in importance and some of it went by the wayside. It’s like, yeah, that’s no longer important to me. I thought it was, but it’s no longer important to me.

A lot of my ladies also talk about as they’re aging, they don’t want dementia. They don’t want Alzheimer’s. They see that in their family, whether they’re taking care of older parents or loved ones. And I get it, I don’t want it either, which is why I’m going back to this rule. What am I feeding my brain? Because it does matter. And I want a healthy, functional brain that can remember things and learn new things for as long as I can have it.

And a lot of that is in our control and a lot of that is by eating this anti-inflammatory diet, that not only helps our brain, but helps our overall system. Helps our overall body be able to function with less pain, less inflammation, less cravings, less insecurity around food, less anxiety, less depression and a greater sense of wellbeing. So are you cultivating that? How are you focusing on the brain health, on your brain health? A lot of us focus on our physical health, looking at our physical body, looking at how toned we are or how much we weigh, but what about your mental health, your brain health?

What steps are you doing daily to increase your brain health? I love to eat brain food. I take a lot of brain supplements, things that help my brain like omega 3 fish oils. I eat healthy fats. I take vitamin D. I take my B vitamins. I eat protein and amino acids, all of that to help my brain. I want my brain to bathe in substances that grow it and not substances like alcohol that actually kill brain cells and liver cells and make me forget things like conversations with loved ones and friends at a party.

Or make me not have a good night’s sleep because it was so disrupted. Not only did I have to get up and use the restroom but then I’m up at 3:00 am going, “Why did I do that?” And then walking around with guilt and shame the next day going, “I can’t stand that I did that again.” And here’s the beautiful thing of balancing out your brain is that you make better decisions. Your brain is getting the fuel it needs and so decisions become easier and not as taxing.

I mean, think about it, we know that sugar and alcohol hijack the brain. And if our logical brain is constantly being hijacked, it’s not really fair that we would judge ourselves because we are taking in these substances, which really do hijack the brain. So freeing yourself from these substances will impact your health. You may not see it immediately, but it impacts your health for sure, immediately. And then over time you will see more and more results.

One of the reasons I launched Tone in 10 was to help me with my relationship around exercise and physical exercise and going to the gym and increasing that accountability for me. And then taking women who want this journey and want to share and learn together, creating the space where we can do that. Because I know some people go to the gym and they think that’s all they need to do to take care of their body. That’s that physical part and yes, that’s very important.

But the brain is also a part of the body. And yes that helps the brain but we need to do so much more to take care of the brain. And so brain health is just as important as your physical health. You can’t exercise enough out of a bad diet. The effects of those dietary choices will impact you no matter how much you exercise. And similarly, having the best diet on the planet doesn’t negate the need for exercise. Your body still needs movement.

You need both a balanced diet for your brain, your body and proper movement. And you also need to look at how you’re feeding your brain with the thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself, about others, or around things that are still challenging you, like over-drinking, overeating or being in bad relationships.

And then finally the next part after we look at how you’re focusing your brain, is it avoid or approach, how you’re feeding your brain? And this last part comes down to what plan are you following? So I look at step one and step two as the proper preparation and then I look at step three as are we taking the necessary effective action? So what is the best exercise? How do you want to fill your brain? How do you want to strengthen your muscles? How do you want to reach those health and wellness goals?

Well, I’ll tell you what the best exercise is, are you ready? The answer may surprise you. One of the best forms of exercise that you can do is one that you will do and follow. Sounds pretty obvious. Yes, finding exercise to be enjoyable means you will adapt it into and adopt it into a daily habit or a weekly habit. Maybe you don’t go to the gym every day. Maybe you don’t work out every day but finding a form of movement that you enjoy is critical.

Now, once you start enjoying movement, once you start enjoying moving your body then we can look at pivoting to, let’s look at how to make it better for the results that you want. You want a stronger body, let’s start lifting some weights, using resistance bands, using your body weight, doing squats, doing push-ups. Let’s look at incorporating just a little bit of that.

Turns out when you do a little bit of that, it might hurt, might be painful a little bit, but then you might enjoy the benefits from it, how you feel afterwards, how your mood is more regulated. And then we could stay there or we can build up. So what is the right diet? I’ll tell you what the right diet is, one that you will follow and do. And guess what the right plan is? One that you will follow and do. It’s very simple. We try to make this so complicated.

So do you see a pattern? I hope you do because we all operate in patterns, all humans operate in patterns. A lot of us wake-up the same time every day, go to bed similar time. We have a circadian rhythm or a circadian pattern. We have a cycle or menstruation pattern or cycle. That’s our infradian rhythm. We have certain patterns around what foods we like, what recipes we’ll try. We might look at a few recipes and go, “No, that’s not for me.” Because it’s outside of our pattern or habits.

And so finding a pattern and a habit that works in your life is amazing. Starting with one habit, starting with one pattern and then tweaking it for the results that you want. And this is exactly why coaching is so important. You have someone who comes alongside of you and helps you see patterns, helps you see where you say you want this result, but this is the plan you’re following. I can see how this plan is not aligned with the result you want.

Or maybe you’re feeding your brain crap along this plan. This plan would work but it’s how you’re feeding your brain. Or let’s go back to the beginning, you are using yourself and your brain as a drill sergeant, as a dictator, say, “Get this done. Avoid that. Don’t do that.” And maybe that style isn’t working for you. Maybe you need a gentler approach. Maybe you need to bring in some self-compassion and some grace. Maybe that feels easier, lighter on your nervous system. You’re not so stressed out.

You’re not building up more cortisol by yelling at yourself all the time. You’re using compassion to say, “This feels better and this feels more motivating.” And so eliminating what isn’t working is really important and putting in steps that could work. And the only way to know is to try it, is to do it. And is the plan a plan you can follow and do? It’s as easy as that. And this, my friends, is all about a growth mindset.

It’s all about making the subconscious conscious to get the most and effective transformation that you want. And if you think about a lot of the therapies out there now that are very effective or have been effective for people, whether it’s EMDR, whether it’s talk therapy, whether it’s coaching, whether it’s those inner voice sessions. Aren’t they really all getting at, what is the subconscious, where is it blocked and making it conscious so we can change it?

But what I love about coaching is it doesn’t need to go all the way back in time unless there’s a block. We look at the layers of the subconscious thoughts getting in the way and changing them and eliminating them for good. So we are consciously aware of what was blocking us, making that fully aware of what was blocking us so that we can change it and eliminate it so that we are no longer doing that. And that’s no longer a barrier to our future selves.

And I think the best way to set a plan is not only saying what you will follow and what you will do, but nothing is more powerful than making a plan, yes, that you will do and follow. But that’s also aligned with your highest values because that’s an approach based plan and it’s highly motivating and more effective and coaching reveals all of this to you.

A coach stands on the sidelines and says, “Yeah, we did that and that didn’t work. Here’s how you need to tweak it.” A coach is for results driven forward momentum, reframing the past so you can have a better future. Alright, my friends follow this three step process to make your life more epic, happier, healthier and way more enjoyable. Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next week.

If you want to change your relationship with alcohol and with yourself then come check out EpicYOU. It’s where you get individualized help mastering the tools so you can become a woman who can take it or leave it and be in control around alcohol in any situation. EpicYOU is the place for women who want to be healthy, confident and empowered to accomplish their goals and live their best life. Come join us over at epicyou.com/epicyou. That’s epicyou.com/ E-P-I-C-Y-O-U. I can’t wait to see you there.

Enjoy the Show?

Reclaim Your Control and Confidence Over Alcohol

If you like it, share it!

You may also like

Scroll to Top

Unlock the power to
overcome setbacks

Click below to learn the KEY steps towards unstoppable resilience. 

Complete 50%

Enter your name and email to get instant access to the guide now

Please note that by providing your email address to us, you are agreeing to receive other communications from us from time to time and to the terms of our Privacy Policy.