In my coaching practice, I find that many women drink to numb out some emotions or problems they are not wanting to face or deal with. The way they are thinking about the problems or issues is painful. Or at least not helpful. Maybe things in a certain area of your life are not going how you envisioned them to go. Maybe you wish something was different but you just can’t figure it out. And it feels overwhelming or even nebulous. Or like no good solution exists.
For me, I couldn’t figure out my child’s behavioral issues and how to enjoy motherhood more. Being a mom felt more like a burden than I thought it would and I was embarrassed to admit it. Also, I was über successful in my business, but I felt more empty inside. By society’s terms, “I had it all.” But something inside wasn’t right. And I kept drinking to feel better about it. Things weren’t as I had thought they should be.
What may be going on is we feel emotionally “unsafe.” We have fear, or anxiety, or some vibration in the body that doesn’t feel good. And so we choose to numb it out instead of look at it and learn from it.
What if you were “emotionally safe”?
We have fear, or anxiety, or some vibration in the body that doesn’t feel good.
I define being emotionally safe as being able to look at what is going on for us “on the inside” and not run away, distract, or numb from it. We are not trying to escape from the emotion. We know that we are “okay” and we will continue to hold space for the feelings that come up. We can sit with those feelings, even when they are Uncomfortable. And we choose to sit with those feelings BECAUSE they can tell us about something deeper going on.
These feelings let us know when something needs to change. These feelings signal to us that what we are doing or thinking isn’t working. The problem with numbing is that we don’t learn what is truly going on for us on the inside. And we stay in the same place when we know something needs to change. What is the emotion that makes you feel unsafe? Or makes you want to numb with alcohol?
Remember, It is JUST a feeling. And probably one you should tune in to instead of tune out of. Your brain and body may be trying to tell you something important……that is for your own well being.
Don’t be afraid to take a listen.