As drinkers, we think about cutting back often. We tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow, or next week, or after vacation, or after the holidays. We desperately want to get to that place where we could control our drinking again. It would be so nice to have the feeling of “take it or leave it” with alcohol. We think “If I could just cut back”. But then, we have fear. We have the fear of missing out.
Fear of what will others will think about us not drinking.
Fear of being boring.
Fear of not feeling like part of the group.
Fear that people will think we have a problem.
Fear that are friends won’t like us anymore.
Fear of how to act at dinner parties.
Fear of how to act at our social environments.
Fear of the loneliness.
Fear of the cravings.
Fear of a miserable life.
Fear of the unknown.
It’s all a lie. The fear seems so real and great. Like our life will be miserable forever. And we will be boring. Without friends. Or an outcast.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
The brain likes sameness and familiarity which brings comfort.
The reality is that our brains don’t like change.
Why do we stay at the same, unsatisfying job rather than look for a new one? Change brings uncertainty and fear. The brain likes sameness and familiarity which brings comfort. We like predictability as it makes us feel secure.
The consequence of not cutting back on your drinking is too great.
By not cutting back, you will be drinking the same, and most likely MORE, in 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, etc. We know the spiral with alcohol only leads downward – emotionally, relationally, physically, psychologically, etc. By drinking, life doesn’t get better or stay the same – it only gets worse.
Until you choose to make a change and get off the downward spiral.
Alcohol is addictive. And your brain is keeping you stuck in the pattern. You can predict how your days will go. And that brings your brain comfort, but yet, you experience so much discomfort from the alcohol. It’s become a source of shame. Alcohol seems like it is the problem and the solution. You need to re-teach your brain that alcohol is not the solution – it just creates problems. Many problems. Get to the root of the problem which is your thinking and your unconscious brain. Embrace the change, not the fear.