Oh, The Stories!

We tend to have our story about why we drink.  And we are really attached to it.  It feels true.  It feels like it is factual.  And that feels comforting, so we don’t question it. Ever.  But creating a new way of being in life requires that we build new facts into the story we tell ourselves.  And these new facts are really facts; they can be proven.  Many of our stories are not actually based on facts, just our thoughts which we think are facts.  The brain doesn’t know if something is “real” or not. It can only know if you believe it by the way your body feels when you think it. If you’ve practiced believing in something enough, you’ll feel it before it happens. You have bought into the idea and it feels real.

To change a behavior requires a change of mindset.

Why can some smokers quit smoking and others can’t? Mindset and new beliefs. Sounds simple and it is. But hard to carry out for many people.  Why is it that many people don’t change until they get the diagnosis? A heart attack? Ok, now I will quick smoking. Diabetes? Ok, now I will cut back on my sugar. High liver enzymes? Ok, now I will cut back on my drinking. It’s a change of mindset.  The diagnosis is a fact. Now your brain has a new fact that it has to incorporate into your daily habits. All of a sudden, smoking, eating sugar, or drinking doesn’t sit well with you anymore. The brain has this new fact and this leads to a change of mindset. It doesn’t become real for many people until it affects them personally.

To change a behavior requires a change of mindset.

The change of mindset sounds great. You are all in. You are on board with the new facts, the new thoughts you are thinking, but what happens? You hit the behavior that you are suppose to change and you realize you don’t want to change. Why? Because you REALLY DO want to change. The reason you don’t make the behavior change is that it is hard. It takes time to learn a new habit, skill, or way of being and you prefer easy, quick, and painless. The brain likes quick, easy, and painless. Nothing worthy in life is without struggle. Grade school, learning to drive, college, childbirth, work, buying a car, buying a house, and so on.  If you want easy, you won’t accomplish your best life. You will remain stuck. And disappointed in yourself. The choice is always yours.

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