You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 107.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well, hello my beautiful friends. It’s so good to be with you today. Hey, I want to ask you a question. Are you participating in my five day challenge? I announced it last week. We are doing a five day challenge this week, the five steps to become a woman who can take it or leave it with her drinking, with overeating, or whatever self-sabotaging behavior you have. And so, it is now Wednesday and we are halfway through our challenge. And hey, if you haven’t joined us yet, it’s not too late.

The nice thing is, when you join our group you can have access and see all the videos that have been on the previous days and you can still get the amazing guide that I’ve created which walks you through the five steps to become a woman who can take it or leave it. And I also want to say, if you haven’t joined us, it’s not too late because some of the best days are coming. I will tell you that day four is one of my favorite topics. It is one of the things that I think we all try to do but we don’t really have good strategies to do it. And that is keeping commitments to yourself.

So, if you haven’t joined us yet, it’s not a problem, just come and join us. And I promise you, on Friday it’ll be so fun, so epic and maybe there’ll be a few bonuses that you can jump in and be a part of. And so, as I mentioned, this challenge is free, it’s in a private community, so nobody can see your participation unless they are also a member of this community.

So, I wanted to make it low stakes so you can participate in the fun and in becoming that future version of yourself where alcohol has no pull on you, overeating doesn’t have a pull on you. And you can really start living your epic life. And here’s also what I want to invite you, if we just keep living life on autopilot, if we just keep going through the motions we will never get to be that fully expressed version of ourselves that we truly desire. I mean if you think about that desire it’s a soul desire. It’s like your soul is calling out saying, “I want this.”

And when my soul wants something I know that’s my spirit talking to me. And so, I know that that is the way I connect to my divine higher self, higher power who truly wants the best for me, who truly wants me to have amazing health, an amazing life. And when we do that we are more amazing to be able to serve others. So, I invite you on this challenge. Again, it’s not too late to join us, come on over. And yes, while it’s fun to join us, you’ll also be learning so much about how to get change and stay that way for life, for good.

I think we all have this common misperception that we just transform overnight, in just a day something happens and we are radically transformed. It’s not how most people transform. They do it little, by little, by little, by little. And this is why it’s not a one day challenge. It’s a five day challenge to take little baby steps to keep transforming into the woman that you want to be. Which brings me to today’s topic about being proud of you.

Are you proud of who you are? And I think this is a perfect time to be doing this podcast because I want us to think as we’re moving into the final quarter of 2022, how do we want to finish this year? Because we have about two and a half months left. And two and a half months is quite a bit of time to work towards what it is you want. And so, it comes back to saying, “What is it that I want? What is it that would make me proud?”

And when I look back over my life I think about all the areas where I am proud of things I have accomplished, things I have achieved. And I also look at things that were hard, the obstacles that I’ve had that I’ve overcome. And so, I want you to do that for you. Where are you proud? What obstacles have you overcome? And one of the most beautiful questions I like to ask myself is, “How am I going to make myself proud?”

Do you seek to make yourself proud? Because when it comes to the end of our life we’re going to look back on it and we’re going to look at how did I handle that? How did I handle that good time? How did I handle that bad time? How did I handle the peaks in my life? How did I handle the valleys in my life? And when I look over by my lifetime and I’m thinking about the greatest times and the lowest of low times I want to know that I’m still proud of how I showed up in those times.

Now, I don’t mean proud as being pompous, or showy, or flaunty, or being boastful, or being braggy, or showboating. I’m not talking about walking with your chest puffed out and pounding it and saying, “I’m so great, I’m better than everybody else.” No, that’s not what I mean by proud. Proud, if you look up the definition means a feeling of deep pleasure, of deep satisfaction because of something you’ve done. Just think about that. Think of yourself giving yourself deep pleasure. Think of living your life in a way that brings you deep meaningful satisfaction.

And when I think about deep meaningful satisfaction, deep meaningful pleasure, does it get any better than that? And hey, people will jump in and try to tell you what deep satisfaction and pleasure looks like. Spend money over here, drink over there, overeat over there. That’s all going to give you so much pleasure. But does it bring you and your soul, deep meaningful satisfaction and pleasure? Do you look back on that time and are you proud or are you regretful?

And I think we all want to look back and be proud of the decisions you’ve made, be proud of the work you do in the world, be proud of the work you did in the world because it makes a difference. Our work, us showing up even if we have a ‘job or don’t have a job’ doesn’t matter. It’s the purpose and the value that we bring to ourselves and to others in this world. And so, does your work bring you a sense of accomplishment and proudness? And so, when I’m looking back on the things that I’ve done to date in my life most of them I’m very proud of the work I’ve done in the world.

I’ve been an amazing pharmacist and now in this current role I get to serve women in amazing ways. I get to coach them in their tender sensitive moments where they know they don’t want to be doing this and they value and treasure a different way of being. And I help change their lives to get it and to get there. And as they’re changing their drinking, or changing their eating habits, or changing other areas of their life that are so painful to them, they become now a light for other people to witness, to say, “She’s got it and she’s getting it down, maybe I can do that for myself.”

And right now, I couldn’t think of a better way of spending my time and energy. I couldn’t think of a better vocation for me. This work lights up my soul. It is my ministry, it is my calling at this phase in my life, 100% absolutely true. And while I’m talking about the work that I do that focuses on others, I will say that doing this work more and more myself changes me. I remember thinking back to wanting to change my drinking but not having a role model in my life who did it the way I wanted to do it.

I didn’t want to be somebody who completely gave up alcohol but yet I didn’t know anybody who was an over-drinker, or had an overdrinking problem, or a habit, or misuse, or abuse, whatever terminology you want to use, who cut back and have just a little bit of alcohol here and there. I had no mentor. I had no coach. I had nobody in that space to show me how to do it. And I remember thinking to myself, is it even possible? Maybe there’s nobody in this space because it’s not even possible.

So instead of sitting there going, “It’s not possible and I don’t want to be somebody who’s completely abstinent.” And then just sitting out on the sidelines of my life. I said, “No, let me go see if I can become that person and be that person. And if I’m that person maybe I could be that person’s mentor or role model for other women.” And each little step I took of course I had to embrace fear and walked into courage to be able to do it because it felt so scary, like is this possible for me?

And then when it was possible for me, how can I share this with others to make it possible for them? And I’ll tell you, this work has made me so dang proud. And when I hear back from you all who listen to this podcast, or have joined Drink Less Lifestyle in the past which is now EpicYOU, and you’re changing your life, this even ignites me more on fire, makes me so proud that I stepped into this role so I could be proud for me and proud for you.

Because if we’re not changing how we view alcohol, ladies, oh my gosh, what will this society look like in 10, 20 years? Alcohol is everywhere. And if we keep saying we’re powerless against it. We are going to continue to create that, not just for our generation but for the generations behind us, because we’re serving as their role models. And if we’re saying to people, “This is how I soothe myself, this is how I control my emotions or manage my emotions”, what are we teaching the people behind us? That they need an outside substance to do this? That somehow we are inadequate and flawed, that we cannot learn skills to do this for ourselves? Absolutely not.

And of course, in a capitalistic society there will be somebody out there selling us something that will make us feel better, here, buy this, vape that, snort that, inject that, drink this, eat that. There will always be somebody to dangle the carrot to say, “This will make you feel better.” But if we don’t learn how to do this work for ourselves, how will we ever make ourselves feel proud? We’ll always be wanting some external thing to make us feel deeply satisfied. I don’t think that’s why we were created and our purpose here on Earth.

And what I find is if we don’t like who we are we will want to escape ourselves even more. That’s why I have a whole course inside EpicYOU on how to enjoy being you. If you can’t embrace who you are and this brings you a level of discomfort, or a level of anxiety, or a level of pain, it really behooves us to take care of that, to heal from the inside because if not we will always be attracted to the external to soothe what’s going on internally. We will want to numb out when we’re left alone with ourselves which is why this work is always an internal job.

So many of us count days, so many of us are told, “Just don’t buy the alcohol.” Yes, these are all measures of progress but that’s not the real work that needs to be done. The real work that needs to be done is the relationship with yourself. When you feel proud of who you are, the decisions you make, and how you are contributing to the world, this is what constitutes a meaningful life and this is what will fill you up where you don’t feel you need to escape and run to alcohol, or food, or some other thing because you’re content, because you’re satisfied, because you’re enough.

You are enough and that’s a fact. You are enough. Now, if you can’t see it or you don’t believe it that’s the work you need to do because we all are enough. We all have enough talents, enough skills and enough of everything else to have a meaningful beautiful life that we’re proud of. And when you truly embrace that, ladies, do you know that you will not look for alcohol for a reprieve? Because you won’t need reprieve. And so, I really, really encourage you, you can even stop this podcast and put it on pause and come back to listen to this.

But really dive deep, are you proud of yourself? And what makes you feel proud? Think of all the things that you do that make you feel proud and own them. What brings you a sense of pride, or feeling good, or deep satisfaction does not have to match what other people find to be deeply meaningful and satisfying. Now, I will tell you for me one of the things that makes me so proud is when I move my body. I have a tendency to be really up in my head a lot. I think a lot. I’m always in my head.

I was raised and told that good grades are what makes a happy life, and getting ahead in life, and being successful. So, I am really trained and conditioned to think, cognitive ability is everything. But I’ll tell you it’s not because when I lived that life I felt a bit empty. I felt like something was missing. I felt like, wait, there has to be more because I’m not deeply satisfied by just intellectual pursuits. Yes, they bring me joy but I also find that I can’t just be in my head and leave my body behind. We are connected, the mind, the body the spirit, it’s all connected.

And if we’re leaving one behind our body will signal to us somehow, some way that, hey, this isn’t right. Notice how your body signals to you when you overdrink, it’s like, hey, that was too much. You’ve got pain in your side by your liver, or you’ve got a hangover, or you’ve got a headache, or you can’t remember conversations from the night before and you kind of have to ask your husband because you’re a little embarrassed to admit, “Did I say anything last night or what did I say?”

That’s all your body signaling that it’s breaking down because of the behavior that you’re doing to it isn’t healthy, isn’t good, it does not want it. And I know that for a lot of my clients, they’re up in their head all the time and that’s why they want to shut down. That’s why I’m doing this course on stop overthinking because if we’re all up in our heads all the time it’s not going to feel good. We’re not supposed to be up in our heads all the time.

Soo I feel really proud when I get to move my body. And as I mentioned, I wasn’t thinking that that was super important in the past. Yes, I knew physical exercise was important but I mean move your body in ways that feel good, not just demanding that it gets in a 30 or a 45 minute workout. And when I move my body I get so many other benefits of that. And that’s been proven in science. It lowers our stress, it lowers our anxiety. It brings down our cortisol levels.

It brings down our adrenalin levels because we burn adrenalin and norepinephrine are pumping through our body when we’re either just walking, or dancing, or a form of exercise, or doing a pleasure, something with your body, playing tennis, playing pickleball. Sometimes I’ll just go and do some wall sits or some squats and it won’t even be very long. It could be just a couple of minutes. But I really feel good when I start getting into my body. It makes me feel proud that I’m not leaving it behind.

Because there was a point in my life where I did and I know I didn’t feel good then. Now, I don’t need reminders on how to be intellectually stimulated. That comes naturally to me. But what doesn’t come super natural to me is moving my body because I might want to just sit in my books a lot. But when I do move my body, wow, my days are way more productive, way more epic, and way more deeply satisfying and pleasureful. And that’s what makes me proud.

Now, this is different, ladies, because sometimes I’ll hear, “If I could just exercise, or I have to get to the gym today, or I have to go on a walk.” When we phrase it from that way, notice that we are doing it from a place of being mad at ourselves, or shaming ourselves into doing it, or reprimanding ourselves, or thinking we have to meet some measurement out there put on by somebody else. And I’m not saying that’s necessarily bad, but I’m also offering there’s other ways to do it.

You can do this work, you can move your body or whatever makes you feel proud from a loving stance, from I get to do this, from I want to do this, from this makes me feel good. This makes me feel proud of me. And when I transition into that space I will tell you it’s much easier to stay on track and state committed to my goals because I realized they’re my goals. They’re not my watch telling me to get 10,000 steps a day, if that’s my watch beeping at me.

But if it’s really my goal and I’m doing it from a place of what makes me proud, what makes me happy, what makes me get the best life that I want to be living, that’s a whole different mindset shift that keeps me more committed. And helps me get faster progress and it’s also not as emotionally taxing. In fact, it builds me up emotionally rather than tears me down emotionally. And so, as you’re doing this work for you think about what makes you feel proud and don’t use my examples if they’re not right for you.

I think a lot of us do that, we compare ourselves to others thinking I should be more like that. Well, you shouldn’t be if you don’t want to be. I don’t like shoulding on ourselves. It’s like, if I want to be like that, okay, how can I be like that? I don’t have to do it the same way she does it. But what would make me feel proud and what would make me feel like I’m giving to myself? When we compare ourselves to others we think that there is a level of perfectionism in a way that it has to go when there are many ways it can be done.

Now, another reason I love to move my body is because it helps me in the areas where I feel are not my strongest suit. There are areas of my life which make my life more difficult to live. So, I have perfectionistic tendencies, I like to have things run on time, my OCD tendencies, everything has to look good. And I don’t mean look good from society’s way but look good from the way I have it pictured in my head. And I also think I have anxiety. It’s self-diagnosed. I never went to see a physician about it because I’m not willing to do pharmaceutical agents for it.

I want to learn how to lower my anxiety on my own. And so, when I move my body, my perfectionistic tendencies tend to diminish and so does my anxiety, it lowers. And it makes total sense that it does this. We know the science behind that. I don’t need to go into that here but when you really dive into it, how does your body function better? How does your life function better? And recognizing those areas and writing them down so you be intentional about creating that in your life.

And when you’re intentional about creating that in your life and then you do, well, lo and behold you get to be proud. It’s like your own recipe that you’ve come up with that creates the cake of your life. If you want your cake and eat it too, well, you need to know the recipe to create the cake. And so, if your cake makes you proud, you need the recipe to make you proud. And only you can look at your life and determine what that is.

So, I’ve developed these practices in my life where I do that and I help others to start and do this work too because it’s terrible when you cause yourself your own pain, your own agony and your own anguish. And I’ve done that to myself. I have harmed myself with so much alcohol in the past. I don’t want to do that anymore. I also don’t want to avoid my dreams. I don’t want to be just a dreamer. I want to be a doer which is why I’m doing this five day challenge.

I heard a great quote recently that says the best time to institute a new habit is when life is uncertain, or crazy, or busy. And I’ll tell you that October is one of my busiest months of the entire year. We throw on this epic Halloween party which takes weeks to prepare for. We’ve got a lot of moving parts. I’ve got to hire some people for the party. I’ve got a long list to do items there. And so, I’m like, how can I institute habits this month because this is a very busy month for me? So, I’m throwing a five day challenge.

I’m upping the ante and I’m also upping the ante for my workout routine. I want to get more fit this month. I want to give more to myself because I know I’m giving more to others this month. So that requires a deeper commitment to giving to myself so I don’t burn out. And then one of the ways I’m doing that is by increasing my movement and committing more to that process. And so, I’m committing to more movement more often throughout the week and even more often throughout the day.

And I’ll tell you, at the end of this month when I accomplish all those goals I will feel so proud. I feel proud along the way when I’m getting to my goals each and every day and I’m going to feel immensely proud at the end of the month as well. So, I call it that gift that keeps on giving. And here’s the thing, ladies, a lot of times we let our thoughts harm us. We have that internal negative critic going on in there. And so clean that up. We want to clean that up so that doesn’t become the habitual way we think about ourselves.

Because when you’ve got that inner critic that’s roaring it’s going to prevent you from making good decisions. It’s going to say stuff like, “One more won’t hurt. Just keep going. Why does it matter today?” All the things that are just lies inside of our head. And when we’re in that place we just don’t make the best decisions. We don’t go to the gym. We don’t cut back. We don’t lose weight. We don’t do all the things that we say we want to do. And this can create an unhealthy lifestyle.

And what we’re learning in this podcast are ways to create a healthy lifestyle. And I use the words, a drink less lifestyle, but you can put in any words there, anything that you suffer with, we’re just cleaning it up so we can live the healthy lifestyle. And so, this brings me to another point that makes me feel proud is when I make good decisions. Now, I want to define a good decision. So, for me a good decision is making a decision with all the information I have available at the time and it is aligned with my values and my goals.

Now, notice I didn’t say the right decision because sometimes I feel like I make a good decision and it turns out not to be the right one. But I may have not had information at the time I made the decision that I’d had available to me later on, maybe new information became available, or maybe there was some uncertainty. Maybe you decide to take this amazing vacation or invest in something big.

Maybe you invest in a Peloton, or a car, or something. And you go a little bit above and beyond what you would normally spend. And then a month later you lose your job or your husband loses his job. That doesn’t make that investment a bad decision. It just made it a decision you made at the time with the information you had. And there’s always going to be a level of uncertainty because we can’t predict the future. So instead of calling that a bad decision, it was a good decision, it just turned out that we have different datapoints going forward.

And so, we get to determine what we want to do with the new data. Do we still want to go on that vacation, or should we postpone it? What would it cost to postpone it? Do we was still want to keep this car or do we want to looking at selling it? So, there are things we can do once more information is available to us. But at the time it felt like a good decision. Why? Because remember my definition for a good decision is you have all the information available at that time and it’s aligned with your values and your goals.

And so, one of my goals is to see a lot of the world. I don’t want to just live exposed to just my immediate surroundings. I want to educate and expose my mind to how other people live and have different experiences in life, experiences that I can’t get in this part of San Diego. And so that’s part of my values and part of my goals. So, for me, planning a destination or planning a vacation is aligned with my goals. Now, notice what I didn’t say, leads to a good decision.

It’s not society’s definition of a good decision. I’m sure some people would find the amount of travel I do to be extensive. Or they might have judgments about the way I travel, but notice that’s not my definition. So, they get to have judgments about my decisions, totally fine, I can’t change their brain. Notice a good decision does not mean it’s what my parents’ definition of a good decision is, or my spouse’s definition of a good decision, particularly if it’s about me and what I want to control for my life.

And it’s not your kids’ definition of a good decision because they won’t think broccoli for dinner will be a good decision. But since I value health, it is aligned with my goals and my values. So, for me it’s a good decision to provide broccoli at dinner rather than Pop Tarts. Now, please hear me, it’s not to say I don’t consider other people, but it’s my definition of what a good decision is.

And so, the problem is, when people don’t define what a good decision is for them and what decision they want to make, you know what they do? They wind up leaning on other people and other people will sway what they feel is the good decision. And so, the parents think this way, the spouse wants this, the kids want that and this will only cloud your mind if you’re not clear on what your goals are, your values are and what your decision is before connecting with them and before understanding what their decision would be. You’ve got to know that for you.

And so, when I work with some women they’ll tell me, “I don’t even know what I want out of life. I’ve always been living for what my husband wants, or what my kids want, or what brings my happiness to my kids. I’m always investing in my kids but I never invest in myself.” And that’s where I see a lot of women get lost. They don’t know what they want. They don’t know what would bring them meaningful pleasureful joy and so, they’re not proud of themselves.

They’re not living a life that they are fully embracing and fully loving because they’re disconnected from who they are, what they want, because they think it shouldn’t be about them. And if we’re always relying on others to give us direction on what to do and how to live we will never get connected with our inner wisdom, our inner desires, and our inner truth.

So, we have to do that work for us for ourselves because if you don’t the world will give you a ton of opinions, so will other people in your life. And then you wind up living a life for them. And this doesn’t make us proud, it actually creates the opposite, it makes us feel resentful. It’s like, why do I have to keep giving for others? Why aren’t I ultimately feeling good in my own life even though I’m surrounded by good things? Because we aren’t feeling like we are connected to ourselves and making good decisions based on what we want.

We’re always aligned with what others want. So, what is it that you crave? As you look to the end of the year what would you like to accomplish between now and the year’s end? Let that bubble up, let that boil up inside of you. This is how you get a fully satisfied life, connecting with what your values are, what your goals are, and going after them. Now, I just want to take a little side tangent and I know some of you may be thinking yeah but, yeah but. And then there’s all the buts that come up.

In one area I’ll find some women say, “Yeah, but I want to keep peace in my family.” I love this. And so, if I could just do a little tangent on this podcast about being the peacemaker. I want to just offer, are you the peacemaker? Because a peacemaker offers peace and that means they have peace. But what I often find is my clients aren’t at peace. They feel like the martyr. They have to put everything forward. Their husband’s needs get met. Their kids’ needs get met but their needs don’t and they are not at peace, but they call themselves the peacemaker.

But a peacemaker can’t offer something that they don’t have. And if you don’t have peace, you are not a peacemaker. What you’re doing is creating your own resentment. It’s a flawed way of thinking. You are thinking you’re offering peace but you’re not, you’re disgruntled with your husband, you’re disgruntled with your kids, you’re mad at them. You don’t want to be intimate with your husband. You don’t want to do things with your kids. You’re like, “Ah.” Because you’re not honoring who you are, your values and your goals,

And let me tell you, when you honor that, then you come from this place of peace and then you’re able to be a peacemaker, you’re able to see how others can get their needs met because you’ve met yours. That my friends is the definition of a peacemaker and not a martyr. So don’t confuse a martyr with a peacemaker, they are not the same. And how you know is if you’re martyring and you’re saying, “Look at all I’m doing”, but you don’t have peace within, you are not a peacemaker and chances are you are angry, grumpy and you’re complaining.

And so, as you are pausing on this podcast and really identifying what makes you feel proud, I want to even ask a deeper question. Do you even let yourself feel proud? I mean do you really sit in that feeling of I am proud? Now, a lot of women will say, “Yeah, I feel proud. And then I’m off to the next thing. I got that fantastic paper published in The Scientific Review Journal, or in this other journal that I work for. Or I got this promotion at work and yeah, I was proud.

And then the next day I went on, starting the next paper, or grooming for the next promotion.” They just move on to the next thing, or taking the kids here, or making a meal there and they’re just on to the next thing. So that moment of proudness came and went in five minutes. Or maybe they celebrated for one night. But then they’re mentally off on the next thing. Now, I’m not saying, don’t create more goals for yourself but also allow yourself to feel proud.

And I’ll even hear some women tell me, “That’s not a good feeling for me. I’m not supposed to do that.” Well, then when are you supposed to feel proud? When are you supposed to allow yourself to feel good, in five minute chunks here and there? And some people think that this might be an icky thing to feel. And I really want to challenge you on that. Feeling proud, is that an icky thing to feel? I love it when I do hard things and I feel proud at the end.

Some of the ladies talk about how much they love an Orangetheory fitness class when we’re inside EpicYOU. They talk about how, when they’re done and they see their scores on the wall or however it is, I’ve never been to Orangetheory myself, but they tell me that the sense of pride that they feel is so good. And I love it because we’re all on the call going, “ I want that.” We can see that in another woman and say, “Yes. I want to feel that way.” Because it feels good.

And we talk about how so many of us make to-do lists. I make to-do lists all the time because it feels good to cross it off. But do you just cross it off and start writing more stuff down, or turn to the next page, or you’re off on doing something else? Or do you sit there and really sit in that and say, “Look at all I got done today.” Or, “I had that difficult conversation with my boss. Man, I am so proud, I stopped putting that off and I actually did it.” Even if it doesn’t go perfectly, even if you’re like, “I should have said this differently, or I should have said that differently”, will have those thoughts.

But then just say, “Wait, but I had the conversation.” And really feel being proud not just like, yeah, it’s a mental game. No, it’s not a mental game, ladies, it’s a body game. How does feeling proud feel in your body? And why this is important, because you’re training your body to feel good emotions. Most of us are just living in bad emotion feelings all the time. But you have to take time to train your body to feel the good ones and make it last.

Do you allow yourself to only bask and ruminate in negative feelings and then you run away when you get positive or good feelings? Ask yourself right now, when was the last time you felt proud? Maybe you did something uncomfortable like I mentioned, having that difficult conversation with something that’s been bothering you, maybe it’s with the boss, maybe it’s with a family member. And you know having that conversation was hard but it made you feel proud, you did it.

May it’s you stood up or something you believe in with a stranger or with loved ones, it doesn’t matter, but you took a stance for your values. How did that feel in your body? Where did you feel it in your body, not just in your head but in your body, below your neck? I’ll tell you, the most recent time I felt proud other than going to the gym this morning, that made me feel really proud. I didn’t want to go but I went and I felt so good after.

But we had friends staying with us this past weekend and they said, “Hey, one of our friends is coming in and we want to meet them. And we’re going to go out for drinks. And we want to stay out partying all night.” And I said, “That’s awesome but I don’t party all night. I’ll come back, you guys can get an Uber back to our place and just stay.” And then I got a little heart and a thumb’s up to that text. I was proud because I said, “No, I’m not a person that’s going to stay out partying all night.”

I have different values for the morning. And I’m going to value my health. Yes, I’ll go out for a drink. We’ll meet up for dinner, lovely. And yes, you can stay at my house but I’m just not going to stay out till two in the morning like they did. And that me feel proud. I feel proud when I don’t desire a drink even if people are drinking around me. I feel proud when I walk into a restaurant, have a delightful meal and I’m elegantly satisfied and didn’t have any alcohol.

I also feel proud when I have one drink and I stop because that’s the woman I want to be. I’m proud because I didn’t have a hangover. I’m proud because I was able to go to the gym the next day, because I know what my values are. And I know what makes me feel proud. And you know what else made me feel proud? There were other people in the group that didn’t want to stay out all night or really late into the night and they came back with me. So, I made it easy for them to own their values.

And here’s the beautiful thing, the two adults that stayed out partying they had a great time. The three adults that didn’t stay out partying, we had a great time. And we all felt proud, how amazing is that? We have to get over this concept that when we speak up for what we want that others suffer. I think sometimes that’s what’s going on internally for people and they don’t even realize it. But nobody was suffering because of my decision. No, we all made amends to make sure everybody’s needs got met. I’m at peace, they’re at peace. It was great.

And I love sharing these examples with you from my life because I want to demonstrate how I do this work. And I want you to learn so you can do this too. You can empower yourself to get the life that you want. And I will say the more you do it the more it becomes a way of life. And when it becomes a way of life it’s your lifestyle. And I love that you keep coming back to the podcast for motivation and inspiration. But I really want to challenge you to take it to the next level and not just be motivating and inspiring, but really to make this a lifestyle practice for yourself.

I invite you into that because when you are changing little by little and making these little habits, you’re building up your daily routine and determining the direction of your life. You are empowering yourself my friends. And when you empower yourself you make yourself proud, not better than others, you just get to be proud of who you are and how you show up. So, my friends, what does that look like for you? Define it. Do the work. I feel this is the most important work you can do because it frees you up so much mentally and emotionally.

And when you can love how you feel most of the time, not all the time, bad things will happen, we will still have negative emotions. But if we’re not stuck in those negative emotions, and we get to enjoy some positive emotions, and then also train our bodies for more positive emotions, you get to appreciate who you are and the life you are leading and creating. And you get to be in charge.

And whether you’re applying this to food, alcohol, relationships, navigating the business world, getting to your financial goals, getting to your health goals or your weight loss goals, whatever it is, this is the most important work. When you can shift your mind to work for you and not against you, so many doors open up, so many opportunities open up and your life just begins to expand.

Alright my friends, I want you to answer those questions for yourself, what makes you proud? How often do you feel proud? Do you try to make yourself proud every single day? I know I do, it’s a practice that I love because it feels so good. And I want that for you.

Alright, that’s what I have for you this week. If you are in my five day challenge I will see you tomorrow and otherwise I look forward to seeing you on next week’s episode. Take care my friends, bye.

If you want to change your relationship with alcohol and with yourself, then come check out EpicYOU, it’s where you get individualized help mastering the tools so you can become a woman who can take it or leave it and be in control around alcohol in any situation. EpicYOU is the place for women who want to be healthy, confident and empowered to accomplish their goals and live their best life. Come join us over at epicyou.com/epicyou. That’s epicyou.com/epicyou. I can’t wait to see you there.